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综合写作

约 13823 个字 预计阅读时间 46 分钟

Exercise 1

Reading

In the United States, it had been common practice since the late 1960s not to suppress natural forest fires. The “let it burn” policy assumed that forest fire would burn themselves out quickly, without causing much damage. However, in the summer of 1988, forest fires in Yellowstone, the most famous national park in the country, burned for more than two months and spread over a huge area, encompassing more than 800,000 acres. Because of the large scale of the damage, many people called for replacing the “let it burn” policy with a policy of extinguishing forest fires as soon as they appeared. Three kinds of damage caused by the “let it burn” policy were emphasized by critics of the policy.
First, Yellowstone fires caused tremendous damage to the park’s trees and other vegetation. When the fires finally died out, nearly one third of Yellowstone’s land had been scorched. Trees were charred and blackened from flames and smoke. Smaller plants were entirely incinerated. What had been a national treasure now seemed like a devastated wasteland.
Second, the park wildlife was affected as well. Large animals like deer and elk were seen fleeing the fire. Many smaller species were probably unable to escape. There was also concern that the destruction of habitats and the disruption of food chains would make it impossible for the animals that survived the fire to return.
Third, the fires compromised the value of the park as a tourist attraction, which in turn had negative consequences for the local economy. With several thousand acres of the park engulfed in flames, the tourist season was cut short, and a large number of visitors decided to stay away. Of course, local businesses that depended on park visitors suffered as a result.

Sample 1

  • In the lecture, the professor casts doubt on the reading passage's idea that the "let it burn" policy can cause three kinds of damage. She asserts that the policy is fundamentally a good one.
  • First, the reading passage assumes that Yellowstone fires caused damage to the park's vegetation. However, the professor argues that the fires actually made the vegetation more diverse. In fact, the fires created opportunities for certain plants that could not grow otherwise, such as the seeds which demand high levels of heat to germinate.
  • Secondly, the reading passage claims that the wildlife was also affected by the fires. The professor refutes the idea. To illustrate, she elaborates that the recovery of small plants actually provided ideal habitat for certain animals, such as rabbits. Furthermore, the thriving of rabbits made it easier for the predators to prey them. Therefore, the food chain became much stronger than before.
  • Thirdly, the reading passage claims that the fires compromised the value of the park. Nevertheless, the professor does not agree with this opinion. She points out that the fires would not be a problem as long as it did not happen every year and Yellowstone cannot seen such a fire since then. She says that it was the unusual combination of factors, like low rainfall and strong winds, that caused fire to so massive. In fact, the visitors came back to the park next year and every year after the fires.

Sample 2

  • The reading passage and listening hold divergent standpoints toward "let it burn" policy. The author presents three detrimental consequences caused by 1988 Yellowstone fire. However, each of them is contradicted by the lecturer.

  • First and foremost, the writer raises the issue that vegetation suffers severe damage from the 1988 Yellowstone fire. On the contrary, the professor points out that scorched land was colonized with new plants and the fire actually offered more opportunities for divergent plants that otherwise would not grow. She adds that small plants take up open and unshaded area where trees used to. Moreover, certain seed species germinate after exposure to high temperature.

  • Second, as for destruction of habitats and disruption of food chains mentioned in the reading, the lecturer states that animals recovered fast. In fact, small plants that substitute the trees provide habitats for small animals like rabbits as well as predators that feed on the small ones. Therefore, some food chains are reinforced after the fire.

  • Finally, the author is concerned that the fire jeopardized the touristic industry of the park. Nevertheless, the professor contends that the fire was an extremely rare accident caused by a combination of many unusual factors like low rainfall and strong wind. The tourists came back to the park every year after the fire further validates the fact the fire would not compromise the local economy.

Sample 3

In the lecture, the professor thinks that the fire of the Yellowstone was a part of the ecological cycle. However, the reading contends that “let it burn” policy needed to be replaced.
The first point that the professor uses to refute the reading is that the fire increased the diversity of plants. According to him, after the fire, some small plants would have chances to grow, and plants whose seeds needs high temperature to grow also got its suitable environment. However, this is different from the reading, which states that the fire caused damage to park trees and other vegetation, with flames and smoke.
Moreover, contrary to the belief in the passage that the wildlife was affected and was hard to return because of the destruction of the habitats and the disruption of food chains, the professor asserts that the diversity of animals increased and the food chains became stronger. To be specific, the fire created opportunities for small animals like rabbits and hairs to live, which could be the result of the growing small plants.
Finally, the professor points out that the decline of the tourists was caused by a combination of a lot of factors, including rainfall and strong winds. Thus, they came back next year after the fire and each year after that. This is not what the reading says, and the reading states that the fire compromised the value of the park as a tourist attraction and led to the decline of the visitors and local business.

TPO 72 3.5/5

作答

The lecturer rises several arguments to counter the reading passage's explanation of the Transient lunar phenomena.

Firstly, the author states that TLP might caused by defects in the telescopes some observers use, instead of genuine phenomena that actually happens. The lecturer rebuts this argument by saying that phenomena caused by the flaw of the telescope might occur in many random places on the surface. TLP actually happens in two very specific locations, which indicates real events.

Secondly, the author contends TLP might represent the flashes of light generated by meteor impacts. The professor, on the other hand, posits that the light flashes generated by meteor impacts will last for more than 20 minutes, which is contradicted with the immediate flash observed by amateurs.

Thirdly, the article says TLP is the result of lunar rocks emitting their own light during hermoluminescence. This point is challenged by the lecturer. He says the light emitted by lunar rocks is substantially weaker than moonlight, which reflects the sun. Therefore, it's impossible to observe the light of the rock against the shining moonlight.

批改

1. 评分
- 内容 (Content): 4 分 你成功地选取了 lecture 中的重要信息，并将其与 reading passage 中提出的三种理论联系起来。你清晰地解释了 lecture 中教授是如何反驳 reading 中的每一个观点的。然而，在解释 meteor impact 的反驳时，原文 lecture 中提到的是 meteor impact 产生的闪光持续时间很短（一秒），而 TLP 的平均持续时间是 20 分钟，你的回答中似乎理解反了。这是一个需要注意的小失误。
- 表达 (Delivery): 3 分 文章的整体组织是清晰的，段落之间有明显的逻辑关系。但是，文章中存在一些语言错误，虽然没有完全导致理解困难，但影响了表达的精确性和流畅性。例如，一些词语的选择不够准确，语法结构也存在一些小问题。这些错误使得表达显得不够正式和地道。

总分：3.5 分

2. 语言错误 (Language Errors)

  • 错误 1: "TLP might caused by defects in the telescopes some observers use"
    • 错误原因: 动词 "caused" 的语态错误。在这个语境中，应该使用被动语态，因为 TLP 是被导致的结果。
    • 与原文信息点不一致的原因: 语法错误导致句子结构不完整，影响了对原文 "TLP are not genuine lunar phenomena, but only random observational errors caused by defects in the telescopes some observers use" 这一观点的准确理解和表达。
    • 修改建议: "TLP might be caused by defects in the telescopes that some observers use" 或者更简洁地 "TLP might be caused by defects in some observers' telescopes."
  • 错误 2: "phenomena caused by the flaw of the telescope might occur in many random places on the surface."
    • 错误原因: "flaw of the telescope" 的表达不够自然和正式。
    • 与原文信息点不一致的原因: 虽然意思基本可以理解，但不够精确地表达了原文中 "defects in the telescopes some observers use" 的意思。
    • 修改建议: "phenomena caused by telescope flaws might occur in many random places on the surface." 或者 "phenomena caused by flawed telescopes might occur in many random places on the surface."
  • 错误 3: "TLP actually happens in two very specific locations, which indicates real events."
    • 错误原因: "happens" 在这里略显口语化，不够正式。
    • 与原文信息点不一致的原因: 虽然没有改变核心意思，但不够正式的表达会影响文章的学术性。
    • 修改建议: "TLP actually occur in two very specific locations, which indicates real events."
  • 错误 4: "the author contends TLP might represent the flashes of light generated by meteor impacts."
    • 错误原因: "contends" 后面直接加名词性从句时，可以使用 "that"。
    • 与原文信息点不一致的原因: 语法结构稍有不流畅。
    • 修改建议: "the author contends that TLP might represent the flashes of light generated by meteor impacts."
  • 错误 5: "The professor, on the other hand, posits that the light flashes generated by meteor impacts will last for more than 20 minutes, which is contradicted with the immediate flash observed by amateurs."
    • 错误原因: 这里你理解错了 lecture 的内容。Lecture 中说的是 meteor impacts 产生的闪光持续时间很短（一秒），与 TLP 的长时间（20分钟）相矛盾。你的表述与 lecture 中的信息点是相反的。
    • 与原文信息点不一致的原因: 完全改变了 lecture 中教授反驳第二个理论的关键论点。
    • 修改建议: "The professor, on the other hand, posits that the light flashes generated by meteor impacts typically last only one second, which contradicts the average duration of 20 minutes observed by amateurs for TLP."
  • 错误 6: "during hermoluminescence"
    • 错误原因: 拼写错误，应为 "thermoluminescence"。
    • 与原文信息点不一致的原因: 拼写错误会影响理解。
    • 修改建议: "during thermoluminescence."

  • 错误 7: "He says the light emitted by lunar rocks is substantially weaker than moonlight, which reflects the sun."

    • 错误原因: "reflects the sun" 用来修饰 "moonlight" 略显冗余，因为月光本身就是反射太阳光。
    • 与原文信息点不一致的原因: 表达不够简洁。
    • 修改建议: "He says the light emitted by lunar rocks is substantially weaker than moonlight reflected from the sun." 或者更简洁地 "He says the light emitted by lunar rocks is substantially weaker than moonlight." (因为月光反射太阳光是常识)。

    • 错误 8: "Therefore, it's impossible to observe the light of the rock against the shining moonlight."

    • 错误原因: "the light of the rock" 可以更简洁地表达为 "the light from the rocks" 或 "the rocks' light"。

    • 与原文信息点不一致的原因: 表达不够简洁和流畅。
    • 修改建议: "Therefore, it's impossible to observe the light from the rocks against the shining moonlight."

3. 语法结构错误 (Syntactic and Grammatical Structures)

  • 错误 1: "TLP might caused by defects..." (见上面的语言错误 1)

    • 错误原因: 缺少助动词 "be" 构成被动语态。
    • 正确表达: "TLP might be caused by defects..."
    • 正式表达: 相同。

    • 错误 2: "TLP actually happens in two very specific locations, which indicates real events." (见上面的语言错误 3)

    • 错误原因: "happens" 在学术语境中不如 "occurs" 正式。

    • 正确表达: "TLP actually occurs in two very specific locations, which indicates real events."
    • 更正式的表达: 相同。

    • 错误 3: "The professor, on the other hand, posits that the light flashes generated by meteor impacts will last for more than 20 minutes, which is contradicted with the immediate flash observed by amateurs." (见上面的语言错误 5)

    • 错误原因: 对 lecture 内容的理解偏差导致了错误的表述。

    • 正确表达: "The professor, on the other hand, posits that the light flashes generated by meteor impacts typically last only one second, which contradicts the average duration of 20 minutes observed by amateurs for TLP."
    • 更正式的表达: 相同。

4. 文章结构清晰度 (Clarity of Structure)

你的文章结构对于一个不熟悉阅读和听力的读者来说，总体上是清晰的。你采用了标准的开头段落介绍 lecture 的目的，然后分段对应 reading passage 中的三个理论，并逐一阐述 lecture 是如何反驳的。每一段都有明确的主题句，能够让读者了解段落的重点。

修改建议:

  • 在每一段的开头，可以更明确地指出你正在讨论 reading passage 中的哪个理论。例如，在第二段开头可以说 "Regarding the reading passage's second theory that TLP might be caused by meteor impacts, the lecturer..." 这样可以帮助读者更好地将你的总结与原文联系起来。
  • 在解释 lecture 如何反驳时，确保你的解释准确无误（特别是关于 meteor impacts 的部分）。清晰且准确地呈现 lecture 的论点是至关重要的。

5. 内容准确性 (Accuracy of Content)
- 在理解和转述 lecture 关于 meteor impacts 的观点时出现了偏差。

修改后的文章:

The lecturer raises several arguments to counter the reading passage's explanation of the Transient lunar phenomena.

Firstly, the author states that TLP might ~~caused~~ be caused by defects in the telescopes ~~some observers use~~ that some observers use, instead of genuine phenomena that actually happens. The lecturer rebuts this argument by saying that phenomena caused by the flaws of the telescope might occur in many random places on the surface. TLP actually occur in two very specific locations, which indicates real events.

Secondly, the author contends that TLP might represent the flashes of light generated by meteor impacts. The professor, on the other hand, posits that the light flashes generated by meteor impacts ~~will last for more than 20 minutes~~ typically last only one second, which is contradicted with the ~~immediate flash~~ average duration of 20 minutes observed by amateurs ~~.~~ for TLP.

Thirdly, the article says TLP is the result of lunar rocks emitting their own light during thermoluminescence. This point is challenged by the lecturer. He says the light emitted by lunar rocks is substantially weaker than moonlight, which reflects the sun. Therefore, it's impossible to observe the light from the rocks against the shining moonlight.

TPO 67 3.5/5

The lecturer raises several arguments to counter the reading passage's explanation supporting Brendan the Navigator's voyage to North America.

Firstly, the reading claims Brendan's voyage stories describe islands on a route to North America. The lecturer counters that these descriptions are vague. For instance, an "island of sheep" could be any place with sheep, and a "burning hill" isn't necessarily Iceland's volcanoes. Therefore, these descriptions don't firmly place Brendan on a North American path.

Secondly, the reading points to a successful voyage of a replica curragh to North America. The lecturer argues this replica was larger and had more sails than Brendan's boats. Consequently, the replica's success doesn't guarantee the smaller, older boats could also cross the Atlantic.

Thirdly, the reading mentions markings in North America resembling the Irish ogham alphabet. The lecturer disputes this, noting that many markings are pictures, unlike the letter-based ogham. Thus, these markings were likely made by Native Americans who carved images, not by Brendan's crew.'

批改

1. 评分
- 内容 (Content): 4 分 你的回答成功地抓住了听力材料中的关键信息，并清晰地解释了听力内容是如何反驳阅读材料中的观点的。你准确地对应了阅读中提到的三个论点，并概述了讲座中提出的反驳理由。然而，在细节的精确性上可以稍作加强，例如更具体地说明讲座中对于岛屿描述的质疑。
- 表达 (Delivery): 3 分 文章组织良好，思路清晰。然而，存在一些语言错误和不够正式的表达，虽然没有严重影响理解，但降低了文章的流畅性和学术性。这些错误在一定程度上导致了表达不够精确。
- 总分: 3.5 分
2. 语言错误分析与修改建议
- 错误 1: "The lecturer raises several arguments to counter the reading passage's explanation supporting Brendan the Navigator's voyage to North America."
- 原因: "raises arguments to counter... explanation supporting..." 结构稍显冗余，且 "supporting" 在这里用作形容词修饰 "explanation"，略显不自然。
- 与原文信息点不一致之处: 无直接不一致，但表达不够简洁有力。
- 修改建议: 可以更直接地表达讲座的目的，例如："The lecturer presents several arguments that challenge the reading passage's support for Brendan the Navigator's voyage to North America." 或者 "The lecture casts doubt on the reading passage's arguments that support Brendan the Navigator's voyage to North America by raising several counterarguments."
- 错误 2: "Firstly, the reading claims Brendan's voyage stories describe islands on a route to North America."
- 原因: "claims... describe" 动词时态和搭配略显不精确。阅读材料是过去完成时记录的故事，而描述是故事的内容。
- 与原文信息点不一致之处: 无直接不一致，但表达可以更准确。
- 修改建议: "Firstly, the reading claims that the stories of Brendan's voyage describe islands located along a potential route to North America." 或者 "Firstly, the reading argues that descriptions in Brendan's voyage stories correspond to islands along a route to North America."
- 错误 3: "The lecturer counters that these descriptions are vague."

- **原因:** "counters that" 略显口语化，不够正式。
- **与原文信息点不一致之处:** 无直接不一致，但表达可以更学术化。
- **修改建议:** "<font color = #ff0000>The lecturer argues against this, stating that these descriptions are vague.</font>" 或者 "<font color = #ff0000>The lecturer challenges this claim by asserting the vagueness of these descriptions.</font>"

  • 错误 4: "For instance, an 'island of sheep' could be any place with sheep, and a 'burning hill' isn't necessarily Iceland's volcanoes."

    • 原因: "isn't necessarily" 略显口语化。
    • 与原文信息点不一致之处: 无直接不一致，但表达可以更正式。
    • 修改建议: "For instance, an 'island of sheep' could refer to any location where sheep were raised, and a 'burning hill' does not necessarily indicate Iceland's volcanoes."

    • 错误 5: "Therefore, these descriptions don't firmly place Brendan on a North American path."

    • 原因: "don't firmly place" 表达不够正式。

    • 与原文信息点不一致之处: 无直接不一致，但表达可以更学术化。
    • 修改建议: "Therefore, these descriptions do not definitively establish Brendan's presence on a route to North America." 或者 "Consequently, these descriptions fail to conclusively place Brendan on a journey towards North America."

    • 错误 6: "Secondly, the reading points to a successful voyage of a replica curragh to North America."

    • 原因: "points to" 略显口语化。

    • 与原文信息点不一致之处: 无直接不一致，但表达可以更正式。
    • 修改建议: "Secondly, the reading cites the successful voyage of a replica curragh to North America as evidence." 或者 "Secondly, the reading highlights the successful voyage of a replica curragh to North America."

    • 错误 7: "The lecturer argues this replica was larger and had more sails than Brendan's boats."

    • 原因: "Brendan's boats" 可以更精确地表达为 "curraghs used in Brendan's time"。

    • 与原文信息点不一致之处: 略微不够精确。
    • 修改建议: "The lecturer argues that this replica was significantly larger, measuring twelve meters in length and equipped with more sails than the curraghs used in Brendan's time." （这里加入了听力中提到的具体信息，使反驳更有力）

    • 错误 8: "Consequently, the replica's success doesn't guarantee the smaller, older boats could also cross the Atlantic."

    • 原因: "doesn't guarantee... could also cross" 略显口语化。

    • 与原文信息点不一致之处: 无直接不一致，但表达可以更正式。
    • 修改建议: "Consequently, the success of this larger replica does not guarantee that the smaller, original curraghs from Brendan's era were capable of crossing the Atlantic."

    • 错误 9: "Thirdly, the reading mentions markings in North America resembling the Irish ogham alphabet."

    • 原因: "mentions markings... resembling" 可以更简洁。

    • 与原文信息点不一致之处: 无直接不一致，但表达可以更流畅。
    • 修改建议: "Thirdly, the reading mentions the discovery of markings in North America that resemble the Irish ogham alphabet."

    • 错误 10: "The lecturer disputes this, noting that many markings are pictures, unlike the letter-based ogham."

    • 原因: "noting that" 可以更正式。

    • 与原文信息点不一致之处: 无直接不一致，但表达可以更学术化。
    • 修改建议: "The lecturer disputes this claim, pointing out that many of these markings are pictorial, in contrast to the letter-based nature of ogham."

    • 错误 11: "Thus, these markings were likely made by Native Americans who carved images, not by Brendan's crew."

    • 原因: "likely made by" 可以更正式。

    • 与原文信息点不一致之处: 无直接不一致，但表达可以更学术化。
    • 修改建议: "Thus, these markings were likely created by Native Americans, who were known to carve images, rather than by Brendan's crew."

3. 语法结构错误分析与修改建议

你的文章整体语法结构没有明显的重大错误，句子基本完整。主要的提升空间在于词汇的选择和表达的正式性。上述的语言错误分析中已经包含了对一些语法结构和用词不够正式的建议。

4. 文章中对 Lecture 或 Passage 表述不正确或有偏差的部分与修改建议

  • 偏差 1: 你在描述第二个反驳点时提到 "Brendan's boats"。听力中更具体地提到了 "corrupts used by the Irish in Brennan's time" 以及复制品的具体尺寸和帆的数量。
    • 修改建议: 在描述讲座的观点时，尽量包含更具体的信息，例如修改为：“The lecturer argues that this replica was significantly larger, measuring twelve meters in length and equipped with more sails than the curraghs used in Brendan's time.”
  • 偏差 2: 你在描述第三个反驳点时提到 "many markings are pictures"。听力中给出了具体的例子，例如 "images of a son, a hand, a tree"。
    • 修改建议: 可以更具体地提及这些例子，例如修改为：“The lecturer disputes this, noting that many markings are pictures, such as images of the sun, a hand, and a tree, unlike the letter-based ogham.”

修改

The lecturer presents several arguments that challenge the reading passage's support for Brendan the Navigator's voyage to North America by raising several counterarguments.

Firstly, the reading argues that descriptions in Brendan's voyage stories correspond to islands along a route to North America. The lecturer argues against this, stating that these descriptions are vague. For instance, an "island of sheep" could refer to any location where sheep were raised, and a "burning hill" does not necessarily indicate Iceland's volcanoes. Therefore, these descriptions do not definitively establish Brendan's presence on a route to North America.

Secondly, the reading cites the successful voyage of a replica curragh to North America as evidence. The lecturer argues that this replica was significantly larger, measuring twelve meters in length and equipped with more sails than the curraghs used in Brendan's time. Consequently, the success of this larger replica does not guarantee that the smaller, original curraghs from Brendan's era were capable of crossing the Atlantic.

Thirdly, the reading mentions the discovery of markings in North America that resemble the Irish ogham alphabet. The lecturer disputes this claim, pointing out that many of these markings are pictorial, such as images of the sun, a hand, and a tree, in contrast to the letter-based nature of ogham. Thus, these markings were likely created by Native Americans, who were known to carve images, rather than by Brendan's crew.

Exercise 4 TLP

Listening

Transient lunar phenomena (TLP) are relatively brief flashes of light that appear to come from the surface of the Moon. Such flashes of light have been observed for centuries by both amateur and professional astronomers, and several theories have been put forward to explain them.

One theory is that TLP are not genuine lunar phenomena, but only random observational errors caused by defects in the telescopes some observers use. Optical instruments such as telescopes or microscopes are complex pieces of machinery; even small flaws in their design can create artificial optical impressions like flashes or other distortions in the visual field. To an observer, a flash of light caused by an instrument error may sometimes look like a real phenomenon taking place in nature.

A second theory is that meteors striking the Moon cause TLP. Because the Moon has no atmosphere, meteors often reach the lunar surface. In fact, meteors strike the Moon every day. According to the meteor theory, when meteors strike the lunar surface, they explode, creating enough heat energy to appear as a flash of light to observers on Earth. When people observe TLP, they are actually observing flashes of light generated by meteor impacts.

A third theory is that TLP are the result of lunar rocks emitting their own light by a process called thermoluminescence. It is known that the Moon does in fact contain certain rocks that are capable of generating light in this way when they are heated by the Sun. This is strong empirical support that TLP are caused by thermoluminescence.

The lecturer rises several arguments to counter the reading passage's explanation of the Transient lunar phenomena.

Firstly, the author states that TLP might caused by defects in the telescopes some observers use, instead of genuine phenomena that actually happens. The lecturer rebuts this argument by saying that phenomena caused by the flaw of the telescope might occur in many random places on the surface. TLP actually happens in two very specific locations, which indicates real events.

Secondly, the author contends TLP might represent the flashes of light generated by meteor impacts. The professor, on the other hand, posits that the light flashes generated by meteor impacts will last for more than 20 minutes, which is contradicted with the immediate flash observed by amateurs.

Thirdly, the article says TLP is the result of lunar rocks emitting their own light during hermoluminescence. This point is challenged by the lecturer. He says the light emitted by lunar rocks is substantially weaker than moonlight, which reflects the sun. Therefore, it's impossible to observe the light of the rock against the shining moonlight.

1. 评分

根据你提供的评分标准，我对你的作文进行初步评分：

  • 内容 (Content): 4 分

    • 你成功地选取了 lecture 中的重要信息，并且基本准确地呈现了这些信息与 reading passage 中相关观点的联系。
    • 可能存在一些细微的表达不够精准或者连接不够清晰的地方，但整体而言，你理解了 lecture 如何反驳 reading passage 中的观点。
    • 表达 (Delivery): 3 分
    • 文章整体结构清晰，但存在一些语言错误，这些错误有时会影响到内容的准确性和连接的清晰度。
    • 一些表达不够正式，可以进行润色。
      2. 语言错误分析与修改建议

  • 错误 1: "TLP might caused by defects in the telescopes some observers use"

    • 原因: 语法错误，动词 "caused" 在情态动词 "might" 之后应该使用原形。
    • 为什么不一致/不清晰: "caused" 是过去式，与情态动词 "might" 连用不符合语法规则，影响了句子的流畅性和专业性。
    • 修改建议: <font color="#ff0000">TLP might be caused by</font> defects in the telescopes some observers use.

  • 错误 2: "TLP actually happens in two very specific locations"

    • 原因: 动词时态和主谓一致错误。"happens" 是现在时第三人称单数形式，但主语 "TLP" 在这里指的是现象，可以理解为复数或者用一般现在时表示普遍情况。"in" 后面通常直接跟地点，中间多了一个空格。
    • 为什么不一致/不清晰: 时态和主谓一致的错误影响了句子的准确性。多余的空格影响了阅读的流畅性。
    • 修改建议: TLP <font color="#ff0000">actually happen</font> in two very specific locations, 或者 TLP <font color="#ff0000">actually occur</font> in two very specific locations.

    • 错误 3: "the flaw of the telescope might occur in many random places on the surface"

    • 原因: 词语搭配不够自然。"flaw of the telescope" 可以更简洁地表达为 "telescope flaws"。

    • 为什么不一致/不清晰: 虽然意思能够理解，但表达不够简洁和专业。
    • 修改建议: telescope flaws might occur in many random places on the surface.

    • 错误 4: "the author contends TLP might represent the flashes of light generated by meteor impacts."

    • 原因: "contends" 的宾语从句中 "might represent" 的时态和语态使用稍显不准确。作者在 reading passage 中是提出了一种可能性，但 "might represent" 略显不确定。

    • 为什么不一致/不清晰: 稍微削弱了 reading passage 中提出的理论的力度。
    • 修改建议: the author contends that TLP <font color="#ff0000">might be</font> the flashes of light generated by meteor impacts. 或者 the author proposes that TLP <font color="#ff0000">are</font> the flashes of light generated by meteor impacts.

    • 错误 5: "The professor, on the other hand, posits that the light flashes generated by meteor impacts will last for more than 20 minutes, which is contradicted with the immediate flash observed by amateurs."

    • 原因: 教授的观点是流星撞击产生的闪光持续时间短，而 TLP 的持续时间长，你的表达正好相反。"contradicted with" 的用法也不够自然，可以用 "contradicts"。

    • 为什么不一致/不清晰: 完全扭曲了 lecture 中教授的观点，导致信息传递错误。
    • 修改建议: The professor, on the other hand, posits that the light flashes generated by meteor impacts usually last for <font color="#ff0000">only one second</font>, which <font color="#ff0000">contradicts</font> the average duration of a TLP being 20 minutes observed by amateurs.

    • 错误 6: "the light flashes generated by meteor impacts will last for more than 20 minutes" (重复错误 5 的问题)

    • 原因: 同上。

    • 为什么不一致/不清晰: 同上。
    • 修改建议: 改为 "the light flashes generated by meteor impacts usually last for only one second".

    • 错误 7: "during hermoluminescence"

    • 原因: 拼写错误，正确的单词是 "thermoluminescence"。

    • 为什么不一致/不清晰: 拼写错误会影响阅读理解。
    • 修改建议: during <font color="#ff0000">thermoluminescence</font>.

    • 错误 8: "the light emitted by lunar rocks is substantially weaker than moonlight, which reflects the sun."

    • 原因: 语法结构稍显冗余，"which reflects the sun" 是对 "moonlight" 的补充说明，可以直接整合到 "moonlight" 的描述中。

    • 为什么不一致/不清晰: 虽然没有改变意思，但表达不够简洁。
    • 修改建议: The professor states that the light emitted by lunar rocks is substantially weaker than <font color="#ff0000">moonlight, which is reflected sunlight</font>. 或者 The professor states that the light emitted by lunar rocks is substantially weaker than <font color="#ff0000">sunlight reflected by the moon</font>.

    • 错误 9: "Therefore, it's impossible to observe the light of the rock against the shining moonlight."

    • 原因: "the light of the rock" 可以更简洁地表达为 "the light from the rocks" 或 "the rocks' light"。

    • 为什么不一致/不清晰: 略显不够正式和简洁。
    • 修改建议: Therefore, it's impossible to observe the light <font color="#ff0000">from the rocks</font> against the shining moonlight. 或者 Therefore, the rocks' light is impossible to observe against the shining moonlight.

3. 语法结构错误分析与修改建议

  • 错误 1: 句子结构不够完整或清晰 (例如：第一个自然段的第二句话)。

    • 原因: "The author states that TLP might caused by defects in the telescopes some observers use, instead of genuine phenomena that actually happens." 这个句子试图表达两个对比的观点，但 "instead of" 之后的部分 "genuine phenomena that actually happens" 缺乏一个完整的谓语动词，导致结构不平衡。
    • 正确表达: The author states that TLP might be caused by defects in the telescopes some observers use, instead of being genuine phenomena that actually happen. 或者 The author states that TLP might be caused by defects in the telescopes some observers use, rather than being genuine phenomena.

    • 错误 2: 连词使用不够准确 (例如：第二个自然段中连接两个观点的 "on the other hand")。

    • 原因: "on the other hand" 通常用于对比两个不同的主体或情况。在这里，教授是在反驳作者的同一个观点，使用 "in contrast" 或 "however" 可能更合适。

    • 更正式表达: The professor, <font color="#ff0000">in contrast</font>, posits... 或者 The professor, <font color="#ff0000">however</font>, posits...

    • 错误 3: 名词单复数形式不一致 (例如： "meters" 应该为 "meteors")。

    • 原因: 笔误或对名词单复数规则掌握不熟练。

    • 正确表达: ...meteor showers in which many <font color="#ff0000">meteors</font> are grouped together...

4. 文章结构清晰度评估与修改建议

你的文章结构对于一个不熟悉阅读和听力的读者来说基本清晰，你按照 reading passage 的三个理论逐一进行了反驳。但是，为了进一步提高清晰度，可以进行以下修改：

  • 更明确地指出反驳关系: 在每个自然段的开头，更清晰地表明 lecture 是如何反驳 reading passage 的具体观点。例如，可以使用更明确的过渡词或短语，如 "However, the lecturer challenges this claim by arguing that..." 或者 "Countering this point, the professor explains that..."

  • 在每个反驳后简要总结 lecture 的论证: 在解释完 lecture 的反驳后，可以简短地总结一下 lecture 的论证是如何削弱 reading passage 的观点的。例如，在第二个自然段末尾可以加上类似 "This longer duration observed in TLP thus casts doubt on the meteor impact theory presented in the reading." 这样的总结句。

  • 在结尾段进行更强的总结: 你的结尾段只是简单地重复了 "This point is challenged by the lecturer." 可以更进一步总结 lecture 的核心论点，即 reading passage 中的三种解释都无法令人信服地解释 TLP 现象。

修改建议总结:

  • 在每个自然段开头使用更明确的过渡词语，表明反驳关系。
  • 在每个反驳后简要总结 lecture 的论证如何削弱 reading passage 的观点。
  • 在结尾段进行更强的总结。

5. 内容偏差分析与修改建议

  • 偏差 1: 你在描述 lecture 对第二个理论（流星撞击）的反驳时，错误地理解了教授的观点。教授说的是流星撞击产生的闪光持续时间短（约一秒），而 TLP 的持续时间长（平均 20 分钟），两者矛盾。你的回答却说流星撞击产生的闪光会持续 20 分钟以上。
    • 原文: "The flashes of light that meteor impacts produce usually last just one second, but the average duration of a TLP is 20 minutes."
    • 你的回答: "The professor, on the other hand, posits that the light flashes generated by meteor impacts will last for more than 20 minutes..."
    • 修改建议: 将你的回答修改为：The professor, on the other hand, posits that the light flashes generated by meteor impacts usually last for <font color="#ff0000">only about one second</font>, which contradicts the fact that TLP observed by amateurs typically last for around 20 minutes.

修改后的文章

To counter the reading passage's explanations for Transient Lunar Phenomena (TLP), the lecturer raises several arguments.

Firstly, the author of the reading passage states that TLP might be caused by defects in the telescopes some observers use, instead of being genuine phenomena that actually happen. However, the lecturer rebuts this argument by saying that phenomena caused by telescope flaws might occur in many random places on the surface. TLP actually happen in two very specific locations, which indicates real events occurring on the moon. Therefore, the concentration of TLP in specific areas suggests they are not mere optical illusions.

Secondly, the author contends that TLP might be the flashes of light generated by meteor impacts. In contrast, the professor posits that the light flashes generated by meteor impacts usually last for only about one second, which contradicts the fact that TLP observed by amateurs typically last for around 20 minutes. This significant difference in duration casts doubt on the meteor impact theory as the primary cause of most TLP.

Thirdly, the article says TLP is the result of lunar rocks emitting their own light during thermoluminescence. This point is challenged by the lecturer. He states that the light emitted by lunar rocks is substantially weaker than sunlight reflected by the moon. Therefore, it's impossible to observe the light from the rocks against the shining moonlight. Thus, the weak light from thermoluminescence cannot account for the observable flashes of TLP.

Exercise 5 TPO 12

Sample 1

The author talks about three reasons why the subject of a professionally painted portrait is Jane Austen. However, the professor puts forward several opposite arguments to contradict what is stated in the passage.

Firstly, the author is convinced that Austen's family used this painting as her portrait in an edition of her letters. On the contrary, the professor maintains that her family gave this permission when Jane had been dead for 70 years. So none of the family members had ever seen Jane and known for certain if the subject of this portrait was Austen.

Secondly, what is stated in the reading is that the face in the portrait looks similar to the one in the painting made by Austen's sister. However, the professor believes that Austen's family was quite large. There might be many sisters or cousins looking like Jane Austen. Therefore, it was reasonable that the subject of this portrait was one of these girls.

What's more, the professor also casts doubt on the point claimed in the passage that the style of this portrait matches to a painter who was hired by Austen family when Jane was an adolescent. The professor points out that other evidence also links this painting to a later date. For instance, the blank canvas used by this painting had not been sold in London until Jane was 27 years old.

Sample 2

Both the lecture and the passage discuss a painting believed to be a portrait of Jane Austen. However, the ideas presented in the lecture and passage are at polar opposites. The reading asserts that Jane is the subject of the painting, while the lecture casts doubt on the reading by the following reasons.

To begin with, the professor is skeptical about the idea in the reading passage that Austen's family claimed that the subject was Jane. Instead, he points out that the picture was authorized in 1882, 70 years after Jane's death. In other words, none of the Austen's family members had seen Jane before. Thus, they did not know for certain that the girl in the picture was Jane. In addition, despite the statement in the reading that the portrait enjoys high resemblance to Cassandra's sketch of Jane, the professor contends that the subject in the painting may be a relative of Jane. Since the Austen family was large, it was possible that many Austen girls at teens resembled her. Experts suppose that the subject of the portrait is Jane's distant niece. Moreover, the writer believes that the painting was painted when Jane was in her teens, whereas the speaker views the evidence in a completely different angle. He suggests that the painting was painted later, because the canvas of the portrait was sold by William, who started selling canvas in London when Jane was 27. At that time, Jane was older than the girl in the portrait.

Moreover, the writer believes that the painting was painted when Jane was in her teens, whereas the speaker views the evidence in a completely different angle. He suggests that the painting was painted later, because the canvas of the portrait was sold by William, who started selling canvas in London when Jane was 27. At that time, Jane was older than the girl in the portrait.

Exercise 6

Sample

  • The reading and the lecture are both about ecocertification of wood products, which is a way to show that they are environmentally friendly. The author of the reading believes that American companies will not adopt this practice. The lecturer casts doubts on the claims made in the article. She thinks that American wood companies will eventually certify their products.
  • First of all, the author points out that customers will likely ignore such a label. It is mentioned that many products are now given special labels, so shoppers no longer trust them. This point is challenged by the lecturer. She says customers actually do pay attention to claims when they are made by official agencies. Furthermore, she argues that Americans will be enthusiastic about products that are endorsed by a trustworthy organization.

  • Secondly, the author contends that it costs a lot to have wood inspected, so certified products will be more expensive. The article notes that American consumers are strongly motivated by price, and will choose products that have not been certified. The lecturer rebuts this argument. She suggests that customers do not care too much about small differences in price. She elaborates on this by mentioning that certified products will only be about five percent more expensive, which will not affect the purchasing decisions of buyers.

  • Finally, the author states that certification only makes sense for companies that sell products outside of the United States. The article establishes that American firms sell most of their products domestically, and their customers are happy with their merchandise as it is. The professor, on the other hand, posits that American businesses should be afraid of foreign competitors. She puts forth the idea that foreign firms could flood into America and win customers by selling ecocertified wood to people who care about the environment.

  • flood into: 体现出“大量”
  • win: 隐含了competition

平时也可以注意小词的积累

Exercise 7 TPO 11

Reading

A recent study reveals that people especially young people are reading far less literature, novels, plays, and poems, than they used to. This is troubling because the trend has unfortunate effects for the reading public, for culture in general, and for the future of literature itself.

While there has been a decline in book reading generally, the decline has been especially sharp for literature. This is unfortunate because nothing else provides the intellectual stimulation that literature does. Literature encourages us to exercise our imaginations, empathize with others, and expand our understanding of language. So by reading less literature, the reading public is missing out on important benefits. Unfortunately, missing out on the benefits of literature is not the only problem.

What are people reading instead? Consider the prevalence of self-help books on lists of best sellers. These are usually superficial poorly written, and intellectually undemanding. Additionally, instead of sitting down with a challenging novel, many persons are now more likely to turn on the television, watch a music video, or read a Web page. Clearly, diverting time previously spent in reading literature to trivial forms of entertainment has lowered the level of culture in general.

The trend of reading less literature is all the more regrettable because it is taking place during a period when good literature is being written. There are many talented writers today, but they lack an audience. This fact is bound to lead publishers to invest less in literature and so support fewer serious writers. Thus, the writing as well as the reading of literature is likely to decline because of the poor standards of today's readers.

Listening

It is often said that people are reading less literature today than they used to. What should we make of this?

Well first, a book doesn't have to be literature to be intellectually stimulating. Science writing history, political analysis and so forth aren't literature perhaps, but they are often of high quality and these kinds of books can be just as creative and well-written as a novel or a play. They can stimulate the imagination. So don't assume that someone who isn't reading literature isn't reading a good book.

But let's say that people aren't just spending less time with literature, they are also spending less time with books in general. Does that mean that the culture is in decline? No, there's plenty of culturally valuable material that isn't written - music and movies, for example. Are people wasting their time when they listen to a brilliant song or watch a good movie? Do these non-literary activities lower cultural standards? Of course not. Culture has changed. In today's culture, there are many forms of expression available other than novels and poems. And some of these creative forms speak more directly to contemporary concerns than literature does.

Finally, it's probably true that there's less support for literature today than in earlier generations. But don't be too quick to blame the readers. Sometimes it's the author's faults. Let's be honest. A lot of modern literature is intended to be difficult to understand. There is not much reason to suppose that earlier generations of readers would have read a lot of today's literature either.

Sample Answer

The lecturer raises several arguments to counter the reading passage's strong criticism of the public's declining interest in reading literature.

The lecturer argues that literature is only one among many forms of reading genres from which the public can benefit intellectually. The public also benefits from reading works of science fiction and historical novels, among other reading genres. Therefore, the reading is wrong to claim that the public is suffering great losses by not reading literature.

Furthermore, the lecturer explains that even if it is true that the public is reading fewer books and watching more television and films instead, it does not necessarily mean that culture is in decline. Television and film are simply modern forms of cultural expression that are also intellectually stimulating and directly relevant to contemporary life.

Finally, the lecturer admits a decline in audience and support of literature in today's society, but she attributes it to the authors themselves, who have alienated themselves from the reading public by using overly complex language. The reading, however, blames the lowering standards of the public for the declining interest in reading great works of literature.

Exercise 14 TPO 18

题目

Reading Passage

In the 1950s Torreya taxifolia, a type of evergreen tree once very common in the state of Florida, started to die out. No one is sure exactly what caused the decline, but chances are good that if nothing is done, Torreya will soon become extinct. Experts are considering three ways to address the decline of Torreya.

The first option is to reestablish Torreya in the same location in which it thrived for thousands of years. Torreya used to be found in abundance in the northern part of Florida, which has a specific microclimate. A microclimate exists when weather conditions inside a relatively small area differ from the region of which that area is a part. Northern Florida's microclimate is very favorable to Torreya's growth. This microclimate is wetter and cooler than the surrounding region's relatively dry, warm climate. Scientists have been working to plant Torreya seeds in the coolest, dampest areas of the microclimate.

The second option is to move Torreya to an entirely different location, far from its Florida microclimate. Torreya seeds and saplings have been successfully planted and grown in forests further north, where the temperature is significantly cooler. Some scientists believe that Torreya probably thrived in areas much further north in the distant past, so by relocating it now, in a process known as assisted migration, humans would simply be helping Torreya return to an environment that is more suited to its survival.

The third option is to preserve Torreya in research centers. Seeds and saplings can be moved from the wild and preserved in a closely monitored environment where it will be easier for scientists both to protect the species and to conduct research on Torreya. This research can then be used to ensure the continued survival of the species.

Listening Transcript

You've just read about three ways to save Torreya taxifolia. Unfortunately, none of these three options provides a satisfactory solution.

First, about reestablishing Torreya in its original Florida location. The problem is that the microclimate in that area is no longer what it used to be. Global warming has raised temperatures in the region. Plus, people have drained the wetlands, you know, removed water from the wet, swampy areas of the land. So the area has become much drier. This means that the cool, damp microclimate that Torreya needs has been seriously damaged. So it's very unlikely that reestablishing Torreya in its original location will be successful.

Now about the second solution, relocating Torreya far from where it currently grows. Well, let's look at what happened when humans helped another tree, the black locust tree, move north to a new environment. When they did this, the black locust tree spread so quickly that it killed off many plants and trees in the new environment, and some of these plants and trees were themselves already in danger of becoming extinct. So assisted migration can have unpredicted outcomes for the new environment.

Third, research centers are probably not a solution either. That's because the population of Torreya trees that can be kept in the centers will probably not be able to resist diseases. For a population of trees to survive a disease, it needs to be relatively large and it needs to be genetically diverse. Tree populations in the wild usually satisfy those criteria. But research centers would simply not have enough capacity to keep a large and diverse population of Torreya trees. So trees in such centers will not be capable of surviving diseases in the long term.

Sample 1

The reading passage proposes three potential solutions to save the endangered Torreya taxifolia tree, but the lecturer in the listening passage systematically refutes each one, arguing that none of them are viable.

First, the reading suggests reestablishing Torreya in its original microclimate in northern Florida. However, the lecturer argues that this is no longer feasible. She explains that due to global warming and the draining of wetlands, the area has become hotter and drier. This has damaged the cool, moist microclimate that Torreya trees depend on, making a successful reintroduction unlikely.

Second, the article presents the option of "assisted migration," which involves relocating the Torreya trees to cooler forests further north. The lecturer challenges this idea by pointing out the potential for negative, unforeseen consequences. She cites the example of the black locust tree, which, when relocated, spread so aggressively that it killed off native plants in its new environment. She warns that a similar outcome could occur with the Torreya, disrupting the new ecosystem.

Finally, the reading proposes preserving the Torreya species in research centers. The lecturer dismisses this as a long-term solution because it cannot support a sufficiently large and genetically diverse population. She explains that to resist diseases, a tree population needs both size and genetic variety, which are naturally present in the wild. Research centers lack the capacity to maintain such a population, making the trees they preserve vulnerable to diseases over time.

Sample 2

The lecturer casts serious doubt on the three methods proposed in the reading passage for saving the Torreya taxifolia tree from extinction. According to the lecturer, each of the proposed solutions has significant flaws that would render it ineffective.

The first proposal, to reestablish Torreya in its native Florida habitat, is countered by the lecturer's point that the essential microclimate of that region has been fundamentally altered. She states that global warming and the drainage of wetlands have made the area warmer and less humid. As the Torreya tree requires a cool and damp environment to thrive, the lecturer believes its original location is no longer suitable for its survival.

Regarding the second solution, moving the Torreya to a new, cooler environment through assisted migration, the lecturer expresses caution. She illustrates her point with the historical case of the black locust tree. When this tree was moved to a new habitat, it became an invasive species that outcompeted and eliminated many native plants. The lecturer suggests that assisted migration for the Torreya could similarly lead to unpredictable and destructive ecological outcomes.

The third option suggested by the reading is to conserve the Torreya in research facilities. The lecturer argues that this is not a sustainable solution. She explains that for a species to be resilient against diseases, it needs a large and genetically diverse population. Research centers are too limited in space to accommodate the number of trees required to maintain this diversity, which would ultimately leave the preserved population susceptible to widespread disease.

  1. climate:
    要说明favourable的是...变成了...
  2. Now about the second solution, relocating Torreya far from where it currently grows, well, let’s look at what happened when humans helped another tree, the black locust tree, move north to a new environment. When they did this, the black locust tree spread so quickly that it killed off many plants and trees in the new environment, and some of these plants and trees were themselves already in danger of becoming extinct. So assisted migration can have unpredicted outcomes for the new environment.
    注意不是Torreya一定会出现这样的问题
  3. Research Center不够大，需要种子的量很多

有生命的's, 无生命的of
Tom's leg, the leg of people

TPO 71

Given the fact that all lambeosaur crests contained extended hollow passages, the professor offers three theories. However, the lecturer denies all these theories, saying the real function is still under exploration.

Firstly, the professor assumes that the crests, which contained many blood vessels, can be served to improve the dinosaur's sense of smell. The lecturer rebuts this idea, basing on the fact that dinosaurs' brain doesn't have the supported structure to support a good smell. The brain part which supports its smell is small and undeveloped, which is contradicted to the first hypothesis.

Secondly, according to the bony crestlike plates on stegosaurs, the writer raises the second theory by saying the crest in lambeosaur can be served to cooling. The lecturer points out the mistake that stegosaurs are totally different from lambeosaurs, which in fact only have one small crest unable to play the cooling function for the whole body.

Lastly, while the writing states the crest can be used to make sounds in order to communicate, the lecturer suspicts the idea. He posits the fact that only one species of lambeosaur are recognized to make such sound. Given the fact that there's no other evidence that any other lambeosaur can make such sound, it is an extremely unreliable assumption that can't be believed.

TPO 75

In the lecture, the professor casts doubt on the reading passage's method on how to control the spread of invasive Northern Pacific sea stars. The professor asserts these methods won't really stop spreading.

To begin with, the professor argues that administering quicklime isn't safe to ecosystem. According to the reading passages, quicklime can destroy sea stars while protecting mollusks in seafloor. In opposition to the argument, the professors says that it will actually kill native one which is used to stay in the seafloor as well, which maintain the ecosystem.

Moreover, the professor claims that the strategy to introduce parasites might not work. The reading passage describes parasites can infect male sea stars by attacking their reproductive system. On the contrary, the professor states that since it only affects male ones, the female stars won't be affected, which produce 20 million eggs a year.

Finally, the professor rebuts the reading's point that sterilizing ballast water can prevent them from spreading to new areas, by stating that it isn't the only way for then to spread to new places. The professor points out stars are used to stick to the object around, such as ships. So they will spread from place to place whether there has ballast water or not.

Suggestions

1. Score:

  • 内容 (Content): 3.5/5
    • You have successfully identified the three methods discussed in the reading passage and presented the professor's counterarguments from the lecture. However, there are minor instances where the connection to the reading could be more precise, and some details from the lecture could be more fully integrated to directly challenge specific points in the reading.
  • 表达 (Expression): ⅗
    • The response is generally organized and understandable. However, there are noticeable language errors and instances of less formal language that occasionally obscure clarity and precision in conveying the connections between the reading and the lecture.

2. Language Errors and Inaccurate/Imprecise Presentation:

Here are the language errors that lead to inaccurate or imprecise presentation of content or connections, along with explanations and suggestions:

  • Error 1: "The professor asserts these methods won't really stop spreading."

    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: While the professor expresses doubt, "won't really stop spreading" is a bit informal and doesn't fully capture the nuance of the lecture's argument. The professor argues that the effectiveness of these methods is limited, not necessarily that they will have no impact whatsoever.
    • Suggested Correction: "The professor argues that these methods are unlikely to be fully effective in stopping the spread." or "The professor challenges the effectiveness of these methods in completely preventing the spread."
    • Error 2: "According to the reading passages, quicklime can destroy sea stars while protecting mollusks in seafloor."
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "reading passages" should be singular ("reading passage"). Also, while the reading mentions mollusks are not harmed, saying it "protects" them implies a more active role than what is stated. The reading emphasizes the selective nature of quicklime's toxicity.
    • Suggested Correction: "According to the reading passage, quicklime can destroy sea stars without harming commercially important mollusks on the seafloor."

    • Error 3: "In opposition to the argument, the professors says that it will actually kill native one which is used to stay in the seafloor as well, which maintain the ecosystem."

    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise:

      • "professors" should be singular ("professor").
      • "native one" is grammatically incorrect and lacks clarity. It should refer to "native sea stars."
      • "which is used to stay" is awkward and imprecise. "that inhabit" or "that live" would be better.
      • The second "which" is also grammatically incorrect and doesn't clearly connect the action of the native sea stars to maintaining the ecosystem.
    • Suggested Correction: "In contrast to this argument, the professor states that quicklime will also kill native sea stars that inhabit the seafloor and are crucial for maintaining the ecosystem."
    • Error 4: "The reading passage describes parasites can infect male sea stars by attacking their reproductive system."
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: The phrasing is slightly awkward. "describes that parasites can infect" or "states that parasites infect" would be more direct.
    • Suggested Correction: "The reading passage states that parasites can infect male sea stars by attacking their reproductive systems."

    • Error 5: "On the contrary, the professor states that since it only affects male ones, the female stars won't be affected, which produce 20 million eggs a year."

    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise:

      • "male ones" is informal. "male sea stars" is more appropriate.
      • The connection between the female sea stars not being affected and producing a large number of eggs needs to be clearer to explain why the parasite introduction might not work. The lecture implies that even if males are affected, the large reproductive capacity of unaffected females limits the impact.
    • Suggested Correction: "On the contrary, the professor points out that since the parasites only affect male sea stars, the female sea stars remain unaffected and can produce up to 20 million eggs annually, thus limiting the effectiveness of introducing the parasites."
    • Error 6: "Finally, the professor rebuts the reading's point that sterilizing ballast water can prevent them from spreading to new areas, by stating that it isn't the only way for then to spread to new places."
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise:
      • "then" should be "them" (referring to the sea star larvae).
      • "for then to spread" is grammatically incorrect. "for them to spread" is correct.
    • Suggested Correction: "Finally, the professor challenges the reading's point that sterilizing ballast water can prevent the larvae from spreading to new areas by stating that ballast water is not the only means by which they can spread."
    • Error 7: "The professor points out stars are used to stick to the object around, such as ships."
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise:
      • "stars" should be "sea star larvae" for clarity, as the reading specifically mentions larvae in the context of ballast water.
      • "are used to stick" implies a habitual action or purpose. "can stick" or "tend to stick" is more accurate.
      • "the object around" is vague. "objects in their environment" or "surrounding objects" would be better.
      • "ships" is too general; the lecture mentions "small boats or to equipment used for fishing."
    • Suggested Correction: "The professor points out that Northern Pacific sea star larvae can stick to various objects in their environment, such as the bottom of small boats or fishing equipment."

    • Error 8: "So they will spread from place to place whether there has ballast water or not."

    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise:

      • "there has" is grammatically incorrect. It should be "there is" or "regardless of whether ballast water is present."
    • Suggested Correction: "Therefore, they will likely continue to spread to new areas regardless of whether ballast water is sterilized."

3. Syntactic and Grammatical Errors:

Here are the syntactic and grammatical errors with explanations and correct expressions:

  • Error 1: "the professor asserts these methods won't really stop spreading."

    • Error Type: Informal contraction ("won't").
    • Reason: Contractions are generally less formal and less common in academic writing.
    • Correct Expression (Formal): "the professor asserts that these methods will not effectively stop the spread."

    • Error 2: "reading passages"

    • Error Type: Subject-verb agreement (should be singular "reading passage" to agree with the singular verb "describes" later).

    • Reason: The noun should agree in number with the verb or pronoun referring to it.
    • Correct Expression: "reading passage"

    • Error 3: "native one"

    • Error Type: Pronoun reference error (unclear and grammatically incorrect).

    • Reason: The pronoun "one" needs a clear antecedent.
    • Correct Expression: "native sea stars"

    • Error 4: "which is used to stay"

    • Error Type: Awkward and less precise phrasing.

    • Reason: The verb "used to" indicates a past habit, which is not the intended meaning here.
    • Correct Expression (Formal): "that inhabit" or "that live in"

    • Error 5: The second "which" in "which is used to stay in the seafloor as well, which maintain the ecosystem."

    • Error Type: Incorrect use of relative pronoun and lack of clear connection.

    • Reason: The second "which" doesn't clearly refer to a specific noun and creates a grammatically loose sentence.
    • Correct Expression (Formal): "...seafloor and are crucial for maintaining the ecosystem." (using a coordinating conjunction to connect the two clauses)

    • Error 6: "male ones"

    • Error Type: Informal pronoun use.

    • Reason: "ones" is often used informally to refer to previously mentioned nouns. In academic writing, repeating the noun is more precise.
    • Correct Expression (Formal): "male sea stars"

    • Error 7: "for then to spread"

    • Error Type: Incorrect pronoun form ("then" instead of "them").

    • Reason: "them" is the objective pronoun needed after the preposition "for."
    • Correct Expression: "for them to spread"

    • Error 8: "stars are used to stick"

    • Error Type: Incorrect verb tense and implication.

    • Reason: "are used to" implies a past habit. The intended meaning is a general ability.
    • Correct Expression (Formal): "sea star larvae can stick" or "sea star larvae tend to stick"

    • Error 9: "whether there has ballast water or not"

    • Error Type: Incorrect verb conjugation ("has" should be "is").

    • Reason: The subject "ballast water" is singular, so the verb should be "is."
    • Correct Expression: "regardless of whether there is ballast water" or "regardless of whether ballast water is present"

General Observations on Formality:

  • Avoid contractions (e.g., "won't," "isn't"). Use the full forms ("will not," "is not").
  • Use more precise and academic vocabulary instead of informal phrasing (e.g., "really stop" can be replaced with "effectively prevent").
  • Ensure clear and grammatically correct sentence structures to convey information accurately.

4. Clarity and Understandability for Someone Not Familiar with the Reading and Lecture:

Your current structure is generally acceptable for someone not familiar with the reading and lecture. You start by stating the lecture's overall challenge to the reading and then address each of the reading's methods with the corresponding counterargument from the lecture.

However, to enhance clarity and ensure a reader unfamiliar with the source material can easily follow your summary, consider the following:

  • Explicitly name the methods from the reading at the beginning of each paragraph. For example, instead of just saying "To begin with," you could say, "Regarding the reading passage's suggestion of using quicklime..." This immediately provides context for the reader.
  • Clearly state the reading's point before presenting the lecture's challenge. While you do this, making it more explicit can improve understanding. For instance, instead of "According to the reading passages, quicklime can destroy sea stars...", you could write, "The reading passage proposes using quicklime, stating that it can destroy sea stars..."
  • Use clearer transitions to highlight the contrast between the reading and the lecture. Phrases like "In contrast," "However," "On the other hand," or "The lecture challenges this by arguing" can make the relationship between the two sources more explicit.

Revised Structure Example (for the first point):

"Regarding the reading passage's suggestion of using quicklime to control the spread of Northern Pacific sea stars, the lecture presents a contrasting view. The reading passage states that quicklime can destroy sea stars without harming commercially important mollusks on the seafloor. However, the professor challenges this by arguing that quicklime will also kill native sea stars that inhabit the seafloor and are crucial for maintaining the ecosystem."

By implementing these suggestions, you can make your summary even more accessible and understandable to someone who has not read the original materials.

I hope this detailed feedback is helpful! Please let me know if you have any further questions or would like me to review another essay.

Answer

范文版本1

The reading passage proposes three methods to control the spread of invasive Northern Pacific sea stars: using quicklime poison, introducing parasites, and treating ships' ballast water. However, the lecture challenges the effectiveness of each of these proposed solutions.

Firstly, the reading claims that spreading quicklime powder over invaded areas will destroy Northern Pacific sea stars but not commercially important mollusks. But the lecture argues that quicklime will also kill native sea stars, which play a crucial role in maintaining local marine ecosystems. The lecture points out that quicklime remains active on the seafloor long after being spread. So when native sea stars move into areas where invasive sea stars were killed, the native species will die too. Therefore, the use of quicklime could disrupt local ecosystems, challenging the reading's claim that it will only affect invasive sea stars.

Secondly, the reading proposes introducing parasites that attack the reproductive systems of male Northern Pacific sea stars in their native habitat, significantly decreasing sea star populations. However, the lecture contends that these parasites do not completely destroy the male reproductive system. Infected males can still fertilize female eggs. Given that females produce millions of eggs, introducing these parasites is unlikely to have a major impact on invasive sea star populations. Therefore, the lecture challenges the reading's assertion that parasites will significantly control Northern Pacific sea star numbers.

Finally, the reading claims that sterilizing ships' ballast water will prevent sea star larvae from spreading to new areas. But the lecture argues that ballast water is not the only transport mechanism - larvae also attach themselves to objects like boat hulls and fishing gear. So the sea stars can still reach new locations even if ballast water is sterilized. Thus, the lecture challenges the reading's proposal that ballast water treatment will prevent the further spread of invasive sea stars.

In summary, by pointing out the limitations of each proposed solution, the lecture challenges the central ideas in the reading that quicklime, parasites, and ballast water treatment will effectively control the spread of invasive Northern Pacific sea stars. The lecture cites additional details and reasoning to argue that none of these measures will fully stop the sea stars' expansion.

范文 第二版本 【句式复杂一些】

The reading passage sets forth three putative solutions for controlling the proliferation of invasive Northern Pacific sea stars - deploying quicklime poison, enlisting parasites, and sterilizing ballast water. However, the subsequent lecture calls into question the viability of each proposal through nuanced counterarguments.

Firstly, the reading claims that blanketing invaded areas with quicklime powder will exterminate Northern Pacific sea stars while leaving commercially important mollusks unscathed. However, the lecture contends that quicklime would also exterminate native sea star species, thereby disrupting local marine ecosystems. It elucidates that quicklime's potency persists long after dispersal across the seafloor. Consequently, when native sea stars repopulate areas where invasive sea stars were previously culled, they will swiftly meet the same fate. Thus, quicklime could wreak havoc on delicate ecological balances, contrary to the reading's assurances.

Secondly, the reading suggests that importing parasites that compromise the reproductive systems of male Northern Pacific sea stars could substantially curtail sea star numbers. But the lecture clarifies that said parasites do not wholly destroy male reproductive capabilities. Infected males remain capable of fertilizing female eggs, which are produced in the millions. Hence, deploying such parasites would be unlikely to markedly dent invasive sea star populations, undercutting the reading's hypothesis.

Finally, the reading purports that sterilizing ships' ballast water would stymie the spread of larvae to new waters. However, the lecture highlights that ballast water represents just one of myriad transport mechanisms. Larvae also cling to vessel hulls, fishing equipment, and other objects. Thereby, sea stars could permeate new terrain regardless of ballast water sterilization, conflicting with the reading's position.

In summary, by adducing additional nuances and caveats regarding each proposed solution, the lecture unsettles the central notions from the reading that quicklime, parasites, and ballast water treatment would effectively suppress the diffusion of invasive Northern Pacific sea stars. Through polished counterpoints, the lecture casts doubt on the likely success of all three approaches

词组:

  • call into question 推翻、质疑

  • viability of 每一proposal 各对策的可行性

  • through nuanced counterarguments 用细微反对论点

  • would also exterminate native sea star species 也会灭绝本地海星

  • thereby disrupting local marine ecosystems 从而破坏当地海洋生态

  • contrary to the reading's assurances 与阅读材料的确信相反

  • undercutting the reading's hypothesis 动摇阅读材料的假说

  • stymie the spread of larvae 抑制幼虫传播

  • permeate new terrain 扩散到新的区域

  • unsettles the central notions from the reading 对阅读材料的核心观点产生动摇

  • through polished counterpoints 通过精细的反对论点

思路:

  1. 明确指出文章提出了三种控制入侵海星的方法,而讲座则对这些方法提出质疑。

  2. 每段都先复述文章的观点,然后引出讲座的反驳,通过对比突出讲座如何挑战文章的观点。

  3. 最后一段概括总结了讲座通过提出额外细节和推理,反驳了文章提出的三种控制措施的有效性。

语言:

  1. 使用了更加正式和精炼的表达,如extirpate(根除)、elucidates(阐明)、purports(断言)等。

  2. 运用了复杂从句和定语从句,如consequently when..., thereby sea stars could..., who were previously culled等。

  3. 使用了对比和转折的 connectors,如however, thereby, contrary to等。

  4. 运用了一些高级词汇,如caveats, permutations等。

  5. 句式变化更丰富,如It elucidates..., Consequently when...等句型。

  6. 段落结构合理,内容连贯流畅。

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