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Exercise 1

Exercise 1

Longevity

Your professor is teaching a class on social studies. Write a post responding to the professor's question. In your response, you should

  • express and support your personal opinion
  • make a contribution to the discussion in your own words
    An effective response will contain at least 100 words.

Professor: Life expectancies are increasing all over the world nowadays. Some of you probably know someone who is more than 100 years old. Before our next class, I want you to consider the following question: What factors do you think have contributed to the increase in life expectancy? Is it due to advances in medical technology, improvements in public health, changes in lifestyle habits, or something else entirely?

Lisa: I think the main reason why people are living longer nowadays is recent advances in medical technology. Modern medicine has enabled us to better treat and manage chronic illnesses, and there have been major breakthroughs in areas such as cancer treatment and organ transplantation. As a result, people are able to live longer with diseases that may have been fatal in the past.

John: While medical technology has certainly played a role, I think improvements in public health have been just as important. We now have access to clean drinking water, sanitation systems, and vaccines that have dramatically reduced the incidence of infectious diseases. Even a century ago, people didn’t have access to any of these things. Additionally, public health campaigns have helped educate people about healthy lifestyle habits such as exercise, healthy eating, and not smoking, which can also contribute to longer lifespans.

Answer

I think John has made a good point that improvements in public health play an important role in the increase in life expectancy. Furthermore, I think it is also closely relative to the improvement of the living standard and the salary. In the recent past, encountering a bad disease, such as cancer, people have no ability to go to hospital embracing death in their home. Nowadays, with the development of economics and people’s welfare, people of different living standards have the ability to get the treatment, declining the death causing by the lack of money and treatment. People also foster the awareness to protect their body in their daily life, improving their health and finally increasing their life expectancy. In conclusion, the improvement of economics has widely contributed to the increase of life expectancies in the world.

修改（语法）

While I agree with John that advancements in public health are crucial for increased life expectancy, I believe another equally significant factor is the marked improvement in living standards and economic well-being. In the past, when individuals faced a severe illness like cancer, limited financial resources often meant they had no option but to succumb to their conditions at home without proper medical intervention (更委婉！). However, with global economic development and enhanced social welfare, people from diverse socioeconomic backgrounds now have significantly better access to advanced medical treatments and specialized care. This increased affordability directly reduces mortality rates that were previously exacerbated by a lack of money and accessible healthcare. Moreover, a higher living standard often correlates with improved education, leading individuals to adopt healthier lifestyle habits and a greater awareness of preventive care, such as balanced nutrition and regular exercise（more specific的举例）. Therefore, the overall economic prosperity and improved welfare globally have profoundly contributed to people living longer, healthier lives.

  • succumb: v.(to sth) to not be able to fight an attack, an illness, a temptation , etc.屈服；屈从；抵挡不住（攻击、疾病、诱惑等）

Sample 1

While I appreciate the points made by Lisa and John, I attribute the increase in life expectancy primarily to changes in people's lifestyle habits. Nowadays, as we focus more and more on a healthy lifestyle, an increasing number of people are inclined to abandon our old, detrimental living habits like smoking, drinking and eating too much, shifting toward a more sustainable lifestyle characterized by regular exercise, nutritious diet and work-life balance. It is these changes that have contributed to a stronger body and better immune system, which is essential for effective defense against disease. While the progress in our medical technology is also conducive to longevity, it would be in vain if we do not care about our very own health and the healthy lifestyle habits. Therefore, I owe the extending life expectancy to the changes in our lifestyle habits.

Sample 2

From my perspective, John has made a quite sounding point. I attribute the longevity to the well-developed and continuously-advancing public health system, boosting the wellbeing from infants to the elderly. Looking back to our childhood, we all received those varies anti-disease doses in the first years of our life. Now as a teenager, many of us are suggested to take some medical precautions against the HPV. The promotion of the public health system and the propaganda of health ideologies pushed our actions and raised the awareness of our health, contributing to lower disease rates and longer life expectancy. The medical technology mentioned by Lisa has made its devotion, but we should note that not all citizens are affordable for those high-techs. Does it mean that they'll definitely die earlier?

Exercise 2

题目：

AI

Your professor is teaching a class on computer science. Write a post responding to the professor's question. In your response, you should

  • express and support your personal opinion
  • make a contribution to the discussion in your own words
    An effective response will contain at least 100 words.

Professor: A new story about Artificial Intelligence (AI) is in the news almost every day. And, of course, companies are spending an enormous amount of money to develop new technologies related to AI. Before next class, I want you to consider the following question:

Is AI a dangerous technology that, overall, will (be harmful to society,) or is it a powerful tool that will improve the lives of people?

Megan: Personally, I think AI is a threat to society. As AI technology advances, many jobs may become automated, leaving people without work and that will certainly increase income inequality. Additionally, there’s the risk that AI systems could be programmed with biases or used to discriminate against certain groups. We need to be careful and ensure that AI is developed in an ethical and responsible way. Since we can’t guarantee that right now, I think it is best to slow down when it comes to this kind of technology.

David: I disagree with Megan. I’m of the opinion that AI is a tool for progress. It has the potential to solve many of the world’s problems, from climate change to disease. Additionally, AI can help us make better decisions by analyzing vast amounts of data and identifying patterns that humans may miss. That said, I agree with Megan that we must ensure that AI is developed and used in a responsible way that benefits society as a whole.

我的回答：

Answer

I think David has made a good point that AI is actually a powerful tool that will promote the living standard of people. From my perspective, not only will AI technology help us analyze data and identifying patterns, but also it will meet our needs more personally and customized, dramatically promoting our living standard. For instance, the large language model can help us solve our academic headaches whenever and wherever we want, and the application using AI technology will predict and recommend what we need in the welcoming page as soon as we open the app, extremely saving our time. In conclusion, while the AI technology has the risk of having some moral mistakes, it can be avoided with proper use, and it will ultimately benefit for the world using its knowledge.

字数: 119词 (符合要求)

评分：3.0分 (部分成功)

详细分析：

  1. 内容与观点 (Content & Opinion):

    • 您明确表达了赞同David的观点，认为AI是提升生活水平的强大工具，并在此基础上提出了自己独特的见解，即AI能够更个性化、定制化地满足需求。这一点符合任务要求。
    • 您提供了具体的例子来支持您的观点，例如大型语言模型解决学术问题和AI驱动的应用程序推荐。
    • 在结论中，您也简要提到了AI的潜在风险（"moral mistakes"），并认为可以通过“proper use”来避免，这显示了对Megan观点的回应和平衡，但回应略显简单。

  2. 语言使用 (Language Use):

    • 词汇与措辞：
      • "identifying patterns" 应与 "analyze data" 并列，改为 "identify patterns" 更自然。
      • "more personally and customized" 搭配不当，应为 "more personalized and customized" 或 "in a more personal and customized way"。
      • "dramatically promoting our living standard" 表述略显口语化，可替换为 "significantly enhancing our quality of life" 等更学术的表达。
      • "academic headaches" 虽然能够理解，但在学术讨论中可能显得不够正式，可考虑 "complex academic challenges" 或 "difficult academic tasks"。
      • "welcoming page" 更常用 "landing page" 或 "home page"。
      • "extremely saving our time" 中 "extremely" 修饰动词不自然，应为 "greatly saving our time" 或 "saving us a significant amount of time"。
      • "having some moral mistakes" 措辞不准确，更专业的表达可以是 "ethical considerations"、"potential for misuse" 或 "inherent biases/risks"。
      • "benefit for the world using its knowledge" 句式略显笨拙，可改进为 "its knowledge will ultimately benefit the world"。
    • 语法与句法结构：
      • 存在一些语法错误和不地道的表达，如上述词汇部分所指出的。
      • 句式结构相对简单，缺乏复杂句和多样性，例如多处使用简单的主谓宾结构或并列句。
      • 文章的衔接词使用尚可，但整体行文流畅度受限于语言表达的准确性。

  3. 连贯性与组织 (Cohesion and Coherence):

    • 文章结构清晰，有明确的开头、论证和结论。
    • 逻辑线索清晰可循，从认同David的观点，到提出自己的扩展论点，再用具体例子支撑，最后进行总结并回应潜在风险。
    • 段落内部观点组织良好。

总结： 您的回答在内容和结构上表现良好，观点清晰且有支撑。但是，语言表达是主要弱项，存在一些语法错误、词汇使用不准确和不地道的表达，以及句式缺乏多样性，这些问题影响了整体的学术性和流畅度，使其未能达到更高的分数。

修改后的版本（目标5.0分）

修订要点：

  • 提升语言的精确性和地道性： 修正语法错误，替换不自然的措辞为更符合学术语境的表达。
  • 增加句式多样性： 运用复合句、从句、分词结构等，使文章更具表现力。
  • 加强论证的深度和细节： 对个性化需求和效率提升的论证进行更具体的阐述。
  • 对风险的回应更平衡和成熟。
  • 确保逻辑流畅与连贯。

修改后的回答：

修改

While I agree with David's optimistic assessment that AI is fundamentally a powerful tool for progress, I believe its true impact extends beyond merely analyzing data and identifying patterns. From my perspective, AI's capacity to address our individual needs with unprecedented personalization and customization will dramatically elevate our quality of life. For instance, advanced large language models can provide instant, tailored solutions to complex academic challenges, effectively acting as personal tutors available anywhere, anytime. Similarly, AI-powered applications learn our preferences, proactively predicting and recommending relevant content on their landing pages, thereby saving us significant time and cognitive effort. While acknowledging Megan's valid concerns regarding potential ethical issues and biases, I contend that these risks can be mitigated through thoughtful regulation and responsible development. Ultimately, the immense knowledge and capabilities of AI, when properly harnessed, will undoubtedly contribute to a more efficient, informed, and personalized world for everyone.

修订后分析（目标5.0分）：

  1. 内容与观点:

    • 开头明确且更精确地表达了对David观点的认同，并引入了“AI对个人需求的史无前例的个性化和定制化能力”这一核心论点。
    • 对大型语言模型和AI应用提供个性化推荐的例子进行了更具体、更学术的阐述（如“提供即时、量身定制的复杂学术问题解决方案”，“主动预测和推荐相关内容”）。
    • 对Megan关于风险的担忧进行了更平衡和成熟的回应（“这些风险可以通过深思熟虑的监管和负责任的开发来减轻”），而不是简单地说“可以避免”。
    • 结论更具概括性和影响力。

  2. 语言使用:

    • 词汇与措辞：
      • "promote the living standard of people" 改为 "elevate our quality of life"，更地道和学术。
      • "not only will AI technology help us analyze data and identifying patterns" 改为 "its true impact extends beyond merely analyzing data and identifying patterns"，句式更高级，表达更精确。
      • "meet our needs more personally and customized" 改为 "address our individual needs with unprecedented personalization and customization"，措辞更精准，使用了更丰富的词汇。
      • "academic headaches" 改为 "complex academic challenges"，更正式。
      • "welcoming page" 改为 "landing pages"，更准确。
      • "extremely saving our time" 改为 "saving us significant time and cognitive effort"，表达更严谨。
      • "having some moral mistakes" 改为 "potential ethical issues and biases"，更专业。
      • "it can be avoided with proper use" 改为 "these risks can be mitigated through thoughtful regulation and responsible development"，回应更全面和具建设性。
      • "benefit for the world using its knowledge" 改为 "the immense knowledge and capabilities of AI, when properly harnessed, will undoubtedly contribute to a more efficient, informed, and personalized world for everyone"，更具说服力。
    • 语法与句法结构：
      • 修正了所有语法错误。
      • 使用了多种高级句式，如独立主格结构 ("While acknowledging Megan's valid concerns..."), 从句 ("that AI is fundamentally a powerful tool...", "that these risks can be mitigated..."), 伴随状语 ("effectively acting as personal tutors..."), 使文章富有变化和表现力。
      • 整体语言表达流畅、精确，符合地道英语的习惯和学术写作的要求。

  3. 连贯性与组织:

    • 文章开头通过"While I agree with David's optimistic assessment..." 自然地承接了讨论，并清晰地提出了自己的论点。
    • 段落内部和段落之间的过渡词和短语使用得当，如 "From my perspective", "For instance", "Similarly", "While acknowledging...", "Ultimately"，使文章逻辑严谨，易于理解。
    • 观点展开层层递进，从认同到扩展，再到具体例证，最后总结并平衡不同观点。

字数: 152词 (符合要求，且在建议的100-120词范围内，允许略长)

这个修改后的版本在内容深度、语言的精确性、地道性以及句式多样性方面都有显著提升，能够达到托福独立写作5.0分的标准。

Sample 1

I strongly agree with David’s idea that AI will help us deal with many serious problems currently affecting society. I’d add that AI has already been used to make driving safer and reduce car accidents, so we already have some proof that AI is helping people around the world. Megan raised the relevant point that AI could eliminate certain jobs, but she didn’t mention that AI is creating new jobs. For example, when new products are invented using AI they still have to be manufactured, which means that new factory jobs are created. Not only that, but AI learning tools can help people increase their skills and make themselves more attractive employees for various companies. Overall, then, I would say that AI will improve our lives.

Sample 2

The topic of AI has generated much discussion in recent years. I understand Megan’s concern over the risks that AI will bring, but I would like to add that it is impossible to stop the development of computer sciences, and all we can do is to explore how to better embrace the improvement of technology. I strongly agree with David’s idea that we must keep the AI on the right track. For instance, laws should be set up to regulate the use of AI, and companies in relevant fields can work together to communicate with the government to optimize the laws; the operators and users of AI should be taught the morality of how to use it in a proper way. In conclusion, AI is a good opportunity, instead of a threat to the future.

Sample 3

The topic of AI has generated much discussion in recent years. I think David has made a good point that AI is a great tool for today’s social progress. From my perspective, not only will AI help us deal with many obstacles with its strong analyzing ability, but also assist scientists to explore more of the world. Take volcano and deep-sea robots as an example. With new technologies, they can get into the most dangerous part of the earth easily, getting precious samples back to the lab for scientists to investigate and evaluate, without causing any harm to human explorers. Additionally, scientists can also use AI to identify certain materials, analyze them in research and apply them in practice, therefore promoting the development of the whole society with prominent science exploration which they were not able to achieve before.

outweigh: 比...更重/更重要

Sample 4

From my perspective, the advantages of AI far outweigh its disadvantages. To begin with, I totally agree with David’s opinion that AI has the potential to solve many global problems, and I’d add that the use of AI has also made our academic research much more convenient, thanks to its power to integrate information from the Internet. Take myself as an example. When I try to figure out where to find the latest development or former literature articles in a specific field of study, I always find AI an efficient tool since it has the ability to provide me with a comprehensive list of databases, professional journals and related websites. In contrast, before AI was invented, I had to spend hours sitting in front of the computer struggling to search for what I need for a project, followed by hours of sorting and filing. So AI has definitely made academic tasks easier for me and I believe it has the potential to change the way of researching in the future.

Sample 5

Lisa and John have raised good points on merits and demerits of AI. From my perspective, I prefer the idea considering AI a good tool to improve people’s lives. There is no denying of the fact that AI is developing in an unprecedentedly high speed, which means multiple and various possibility in the future. Thus, we will be able to solve loads of remained issues with the assistance of AI, for instance, to reorganize and improve city traffic, to do medical operation, even to predict environmental disasters and save lives. Never should we ignore the potential risks that AI has posed, but it doesn’t mean we should be scared and retreat. As long as we take right action and attitude towards AI, it can be a perfect tool to serve us and make a better future (140)

Exercise 3 TPO74

TPO 74

Starting this week, we will discuss how public transportation is funded. Public transportation gives people from all social groups access to their homes, workplaces, and shopping. Some argue that public transportation should be supported by tax revenue so that all people could have free access to it. What do you think? Should public transportation be free to all? Why or why not?

Kelly People already pay so much in taxes for things like schools, roads, and law enforcement. I don’t think that adding one more tax—especially when some people don’t even use public transportation—would be a good idea. People need money for other essentials for their families.

Paul Free public transportation would result in having fewer cars on the roads. Also, it would mean cleaner air for the cities, and there are many health conditions that could be improved with cleaner air. I think the savings in health-care costs and less pollution would make it worth it.

作答

In my opinion, there's no need for free public transportation, since it doesn't cost too much nowadays after all. For example, a high school student who takes the subway to go to school will only spend 4 yuan on public transportation, which is the same value as a bottle of water. Instead, adding one more tax may cause unfairness, due to the fact that people who don't need public transportation will pay an extra amount of money. For instance, teachers who live in school and don't need transportation still need to pay an extra amount of fee. In conclusion, though having free access to public transportation seems to be ideal, it's unnecessary in fact and unfair to some people.

批改

1. 打分：

  • 内容 (Content): ⅗ - 你的观点明确，并且提供了一个基于价格的理由和另一个基于公平性的理由。然而，你的论证比较简单，缺乏更深入的解释和细节支撑。例如，你声称公共交通花费不多，但没有提供更广泛的数据或考虑不同城市和收入水平的情况。关于公平性的论点也比较直接，可以进一步探讨不同社会群体对公共交通的需求和税收的受益情况。
  • 表达 (Language): ⅗ - 你的语言基本清晰易懂，能够表达你的观点。但存在一些小的语法和词汇问题，且句式结构相对简单，缺乏多样性。

2. 语言错误 (Language Errors):

  • Error 1: "there's no need for free public transportation, since it doesn't cost too much nowadays after all."
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "after all" 在这里显得有些突兀，语气不够正式，并且并没有提供额外的信息来支持“花费不多”的观点。
    • Suggestion: 可以删除 "after all" 或者用更正式的短语来连接你的观点，例如 "because the current cost is relatively low."
  • Error 2: "For example, a high school student who takes the subway to go to school will only spend 4 yuan on public transportation, which is the same value as a bottle of water."
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: 使用具体的货币单位 "yuan" 对于一个国际性的讨论来说可能不够通用，并且用一瓶水的价值来衡量交通费用显得过于简化，没有考虑到长期累积的费用和不同地区的物价水平。
    • Suggestion: 可以使用更通用的表达，例如 "For example, the cost for a high school student to commute to school by subway might be comparable to the price of a common everyday item." 或者避免使用具体的货币单位。
  • Error 3: "due to the fact that people who don't need public transportation will pay an extra amount of money."
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "due to the fact that" 过于冗余，可以用更简洁的表达。
    • Suggestion: 可以改为 "because people who do not use public transportation would have to pay extra."
  • Error 4: "For instance, teachers who live in school and don't need transportation still need to pay an extra amount of fee."
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "need to pay an extra amount of fee" 中的 "amount of fee" 有些重复，可以用更简洁的表达。
    • Suggestion: 可以改为 "For instance, teachers who live on campus and do not require transportation would still have to pay this additional tax."
  • Error 5: "though having free access to public transportation seems to be ideal, it's unnecessary in fact and unfair to some people."
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "in fact" 在这里显得有些生硬，并且句子结构可以更流畅。
    • Suggestion: 可以改为 "While free public transportation might seem ideal, it is, in my opinion, unnecessary and potentially unfair to certain groups."

3. 语法结构 (Syntactic Structures and Grammatical Structures):

  • Error 1: 句子结构过于简单，多为简单句，缺乏句式变化，例如 "In my opinion, there's no need for free public transportation..." 和 "Instead, adding one more tax may cause unfairness..."
    • Why it's an error: 缺乏复杂的句式结构会使文章显得单调，影响表达的流畅性和准确性。
    • Correct Expression: 可以尝试使用从句、短语等来构建更复杂的句子，例如 "I believe that free public transportation is unnecessary because the current cost is relatively low..." 和 "Furthermore, the implementation of an additional tax to fund free public transportation could be considered unfair..."
  • Error 2: "people who don't need public transportation will pay an extra amount of money." - 动词时态一致性，如果讨论的是未来可能发生的情况，可以使用 "would pay"。
    • Why it's an error: 时态不一致会造成理解上的困惑。
    • Correct Expression: "people who do not need public transportation would pay an extra amount of money."

4. 文章结构 (Clarity and Understandability for Unfamiliar Readers):

  • Evaluation: 对于不熟悉讨论背景的读者来说，你的文章结构基本清晰，你首先提出了你的观点，然后提供了两个理由来支持你的观点，最后进行了总结。
  • Suggestion:
    • 可以在开头更明确地回应教授的问题，例如 "In response to the professor's question about whether public transportation should be free to all, I believe it should not be."
    • 在每个理由段落的开头使用更清晰的主题句，概括该段落要讨论的重点。
    • 在提供例子之后，可以稍微展开解释一下这个例子如何支持你的观点，避免例子显得孤立。

最终得分：内容 ⅗，表达 ⅗。综合得分：3 分。

修改

~~In my opinion, there's no need for free public transportation, since it doesn't cost too much nowadays after all.~~ In my opinion, free public transportation is unnecessary because the current cost is relatively low. ~~For example, a high school student who takes the subway to go to school will only spend 4 yuan on public transportation, which is the same value as a bottle of water.~~ For example, the cost for a high school student to commute to school by subway might be comparable to the price of a common everyday item. ~~Instead, adding one more tax may cause unfairness, due to the fact that people who don't need public transportation will pay an extra amount of money.~~ Furthermore, the implementation of an additional tax to fund free public transportation could be considered unfair because people who do not use public transportation would have to pay extra. For instance, teachers who live in school and don't need transportation still need to pay an extra amount of fee. ~~In conclusion, though having free access to public transportation seems to be ideal, it's unnecessary in fact and unfair to some people.~~ In conclusion, while free public transportation might seem ideal, it is, in my opinion, unnecessary and potentially unfair to certain groups.

TPO 71 ⅗

TPO 71

Write a post responding to the professor’s question.
In your response, you should:

  • express and support your opinion.
  • make a contribution to the discussion in your own words.
    An effective response will contain at least 100 words.

Professor Next week, we'll be discussing the role of museums in society, and we'll explore the various contexts, social and otherwise, in which museums operate. Today, I'd like you to think about the benefits of museums. For a city and its residents, what do you think is the most significant advantage of having a museum located in that city? Explain why you think so.

Andrew Museums can inspire people in many ways. If a city has a museum, people have access to out-of-the-ordinary experiences. Whether in a room with sixteenth-century paintings or some moon rocks, being near fascinating objects from the past transports people out of their everyday lives. It can offer them a new perspective or a sense of possibility in their lives.

Student 2 Andrew makes a good point, but personally, I see greater benefit in the social aspect of museum-going. I think the biggest advantage of having a museum nearby is that people can come together for events like exhibitions and lectures or to volunteer. Museums foster a sense of community in a city. They can unite people in a common appreciation of something.

作答

I totally agree with Andrew's point about the cultural meaningness of the museum and I would like to add something. As far as I'm concerned, museum are a significant cultural and historical symbol of a city by providing a splendid glimpse of the city. Therefore, not only does it improve the attractiveness of the city, but also it foster the sense of cultural pride for every residents in city. For example, the well-preserved treasures in Luoyang's museums attract global visitors, showcasing the region's rich history. These institutions also play an educational role, providing students with hands-on learning experiences. In conclusion, museum are an important element of a city due to its cultural impact and education meaningness.

批改

1. 打分：

  • 内容 (Content): 3.5/5 - 你表达了对 Andrew 观点的赞同，并在此基础上提出了你自己的补充观点，即博物馆作为城市重要的文化和历史象征，能够提升城市吸引力并增强居民的文化自豪感。你提供了一个例子来支持你的观点，并提到了博物馆的教育意义。内容上基本切题，并有所拓展。
  • 表达 (Language): ⅗ - 你的语言基本流畅，能够表达你的观点，但也存在一些语法和词汇上的小错误，以及不够正式的表达。

2. 语言错误 (Language Errors):

  • Error 1: "cultural meaningness"
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "meaningness" 不是一个常用的词汇，表达“意义”可以使用 "significance" 或 "importance"。
    • Suggestion: "cultural significance" 或 "cultural importance".
  • Error 2: "museum are a significant cultural and historical symbol"
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: 主语 "museum" 是单数，动词 "are" 是复数，导致主谓不一致。
    • Suggestion: "museum is a significant cultural and historical symbol".
  • Error 3: "by providing a splendid glimpse of the city"
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: 表达略显不自然，可以使用更简洁的表达。
    • Suggestion: "by offering a splendid glimpse into the city's past."
  • Error 4: "it foster the sense of cultural pride for every residents in city"
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: 主语 "it" 是单数，动词 "foster" 应该使用第三人称单数形式 "fosters"。 "every residents" 应该是 "every resident" 或者 "all residents"。 "in city" 应该是 "in the city"。
    • Suggestion: "it fosters a sense of cultural pride among all residents in the city."
  • Error 5: "museum are an important element of a city due to its cultural impact and education meaningness."
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: 主语 "museum" 是单数，动词 "are" 是复数。 "its" 指代单数名词 "museum"，所以 "education meaningness" 应该改为 "educational significance" 或 "educational importance"。
    • Suggestion: "museum is an important element of a city due to its cultural impact and educational significance."

3. 语法结构 (Syntactic Structures and Grammatical Structures):

  • Error 1: 句子结构可以更加多样化。例如，第二句 "As far as I'm concerned, museum are a significant cultural and historical symbol of a city by providing a splendid glimpse of the city." 可以尝试拆分成更清晰的两个句子或者使用更复杂的句式。
    • Why it's an error: 句子稍显冗长，影响阅读流畅性。
    • Correct Expression: "In my opinion, museums serve as significant cultural and historical symbols of a city. They offer residents and visitors a splendid glimpse into the city's past and heritage."
  • Error 2: 连词使用不够灵活，例如 "Therefore" 连接的句子可以尝试使用更具体的逻辑连接词或者调整句子结构。

4. 文章结构 (Clarity and Understandability for Unfamiliar Readers):

  • Evaluation: 结构基本清晰，你首先表达了赞同，然后提出了补充观点，给出了例子，最后进行了总结。
  • Suggestion:
    • 在提出补充观点时，可以更明确地说明你是在 Andrew 的基础上进行拓展，例如 "Building upon Andrew's point about the cultural significance of museums, I would like to add that..."
    • 在总结部分，可以更清晰地呼应你提出的两个主要方面：提升城市吸引力和增强居民文化自豪感，以及博物馆的教育意义。

最终得分：内容 3.5/5，表达 ⅗。综合得分：3 分。

修改

~~I totally agree with Andrew's point about the cultural meaningness of the museum and I would like to add something.~~ I agree with Andrew's point regarding the cultural significance of museums and would like to add further insights. ~~As far as I'm concerned, museum are a significant cultural and historical symbol of a city by providing a splendid glimpse of the city.~~ In my opinion, a museum is a significant cultural and historical symbol of a city, offering a splendid glimpse into its past and heritage. ~~Therefore, not only does it improve the attractiveness of the city, but also it foster the sense of cultural pride for every residents in city.~~ Consequently, it not only enhances the attractiveness of the city but also fosters a sense of cultural pride among all residents in the city. For example, the well-preserved treasures in Luoyang's museums attract global visitors, showcasing the region's rich history. These institutions also play an educational role, providing students with hands-on learning experiences. ~~In conclusion, museum are an important element of a city due to its cultural impact and education meaningness.~~ In conclusion, a museum is an important element of a city due to its cultural impact and educational significance.

TPO 67 ⅘

TPO 67

Write a post responding to the professor’s question.
In your response, you should:

  • express and support your opinion.
  • make a contribution to the discussion in your own words.
    An effective response will contain at least 100 words.

Professor This week, we'll be discussing how technological advances are transforming the job market, making some jobs unnecessary. Let's focus on government actions. Suppose the government had to choose between two ways in which to support people whose jobs are no longer needed. The government could either give them enough money to live on until they find new jobs or offer them free job training without giving them money directly. Which of these two solutions do you think is better? Why?

Andrew I believe that the government should prioritize providing free job training opportunities. Modern training programs are usually costly, which means that many people will not be able to afford them without the government's funding. By participating in training programs, people will develop new, in-demand skills and become more competitive in the job market.

Kelly Although I agree that having access to free training programs sounds promising, I think the government's first step should be to give people enough money to live on until they find new jobs. This money will go directly into people's pockets and allow them to make their own choices concerning their future.

作答

Both Andrew and Kelly have made good points, and I believe offering free job training is better, since this method protects the self-esteem of the people. By helping them developing new, in-demand skills, these people will still gain the sense of achievement and confidence from their process of earning the payoff and maintain a proper status in society. In contrast, if they're offered money directly, they will define themselves as a failure in society, losing hope and confidence and only expecting money from government from day to night. In conclusion, while providing money directly is more straight and can solve the problem immediately, offering free job training and teaching them skills are better for their well-being and beneficial for the long term.

批改

1. 打分：

  • 内容 (Content): ⅘ - 你清晰地表达了你的观点，支持提供免费职业培训，并给出了明确的理由，即这种方式有助于保护失业人员的自尊心和自信心，并着眼于长期的福祉。你对比了直接提供资金的不足之处，论证较为充分。
  • 表达 (Language): 3.5/5 - 你的语言表达基本清晰，能够有效地传达你的观点。语法和词汇方面有一些小错误，但整体而言表达比较流畅。

2. 语言错误 (Language Errors):

  • Error 1: "By helping them developing new, in-demand skills"
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: 在介词 "by" 之后，动词应该使用动名词形式。
    • Suggestion: "By helping them develop new, in-demand skills" 或 "By helping them in developing new, in-demand skills."
  • Error 2: "these people will still gain the sense of achievement and confidence from their process of earning the payoff"
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "earning the payoff" 在这里略显口语化，且表达可能不够准确。职业培训本身不直接带来经济上的 "payoff"，而是提升就业能力。
    • Suggestion: "these people will still gain a sense of achievement and confidence through the process of acquiring new skills and improving their employability."
  • Error 3: "maintain a proper status in society"
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "proper status" 略显模糊，可以使用更具体的表达。
    • Suggestion: "maintain their social standing" 或 "maintain their dignity and social integration."
  • Error 4: "if they're offered money directly, they will define themselves as a failure in society"
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "they're" 是 "they are" 的缩写，在正式学术语境中应尽量避免使用缩写。
    • Suggestion: "if they are offered money directly, they may perceive themselves as failures in society."
  • Error 5: "losing hope and confidence and only expecting money from government from day to night"
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "from day to night" 略显口语化，且表达可能有些夸张。
    • Suggestion: "potentially leading to a loss of hope and confidence, and fostering dependency on government support."
  • Error 6: "while providing money directly is more straight and can solve the problem immediately"
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "straight" 在这里不是一个合适的词语来形容提供资金的方式，可以使用 "direct" 或 "immediate"。
    • Suggestion: "while providing direct financial assistance may offer an immediate solution."

3. 语法结构 (Syntactic Structures and Grammatical Structures):

  • Error 1: 句子结构可以更加精炼和正式。例如，第二句 "By helping them developing new, in-demand skills, these people will still gain the sense of achievement and confidence from their process of earning the payoff and maintain a proper status in society." 可以尝试拆分成更清晰的句子。
    • Why it's an error: 句子较长，信息量大，略显冗余。
    • Correct Expression: "Providing free job training can help these individuals develop new, in-demand skills. This process can foster a sense of achievement and confidence, enabling them to maintain their social standing."
  • Error 2: 注意连词的使用，例如 "since" 和 "in contrast" 连接的句子在逻辑上是否足够清晰。

4. 文章结构 (Clarity and Understandability for Unfamiliar Readers):

  • Evaluation: 结构清晰，你首先表达了你的观点，然后阐述了支持你观点的理由，并对比了另一种方案的不足，最后进行了总结。
  • Suggestion:
    • 可以在开头更明确地回应教授的问题，例如 "Regarding the government's role in supporting people whose jobs are no longer needed, I believe that offering free job training is a more effective approach than providing direct financial assistance."
    • 在对比两种方案的段落中，可以更清晰地使用对比性的连接词，例如 "On the other hand," 或 "Conversely,"。

最终得分：内容 ⅘，表达 3.5/5。综合得分：4 分。

修改

Both Andrew and Kelly have made valid points, and I believe offering free job training is a more effective solution, ~~since this method protects the self-esteem of the people.~~ as it safeguards the self-esteem of the individuals affected. ~~By helping them developing new, in-demand skills, these people will still gain the sense of achievement and confidence from their process of earning the payoff and maintain a proper status in society.~~ By assisting them in developing new, in-demand skills, these individuals can gain a sense of achievement and confidence through the process of acquiring these skills, thereby maintaining their social standing. ~~In contrast, if they're offered money directly, they will define themselves as a failure in society, losing hope and confidence and only expecting money from government from day to night.~~ Conversely, if they are offered direct financial assistance, they may perceive themselves as failures, potentially leading to a loss of hope and confidence, and fostering dependency on government support. ~~In conclusion, while providing money directly is more straight and can solve the problem immediately, offering free job training and teaching them skills are better for their well-being and beneficial for the long term.~~ In conclusion, while providing direct financial assistance may offer an immediate solution, offering free job training and imparting valuable skills are more beneficial for their long-term well-being and societal integration.

TPO 55

TPO 55

Write a post responding to the professor’s question.
In your response, you should:

  • express and support your opinion.
  • make a contribution to the discussion in your own words.
    An effective response will contain at least 100 words.

Professor Your professor is teaching a class on economics. Write a post responding to the professor’s question.

In 1930, a famous economist predicted that at the end of the twentieth century, an average worker would work only 15 hours a week, thanks to advances in technology. This did not happen, as we all know. Nonetheless, the balance between work time and free time remains an interesting question. So, let me ask you today: Twenty years in the future, will people have more leisure time (free time) and less work than they have today? Why, or why not?

Claire I think it is likely that people will work shorter hours in twenty years than they do today. Our societies are becoming wealthier all the time. It does not seem necessary for people to continue working as hard as they do today. At some point, having more free time should be more important than creating more wealth.

Paul I am not sure people will work less in the future. As Doctor Achebe wrote, a shortening of the workweek was predicted before. There are many factors that determine how long people work. Our economic system is very competitive. Workers are pushed to work longer and longer hours so that companies have a competitive advantage.

作答

In my opinion, people will spending less time working and gaining more leisure time in the future. With the development of technology, different hard works are becoming automated, thus requiring less time for people to finish. For instance, with the rapid development of AI technology, people spend less time processing data in their work, dramatically improving work efficiency and saving a huge amount of time. Still, a voice arises that our competitive economic system will force workers to be more diligent regardless of the time. Ironically, from the whole perspective, the working time is saved in total and the coompetitiveness will be represented in other aspects, such as the quality and the ability to solve the emergencies.

批改

1. 打分：

  • 内容 (Content): 3.5/5 - 你表达了你的观点，认为未来人们将拥有更多休闲时间，并给出了技术进步导致工作自动化的理由。你用人工智能的例子进行了说明，并且考虑到了竞争性经济体系可能带来的反驳意见，并尝试进行了回应。
  • 表达 (Language): ⅗ - 你的语言基本能够表达你的意思，但存在一些明显的语法错误和不够自然的表达。

2. 语言错误 (Language Errors):

  • Error 1: "people will spending less time working"

    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "will" 后面应该跟动词原形。
    • Suggestion: "people will spend less time

  • Error 2: "different hard works are becoming automated"

    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "hard works" 不是一个常见的表达，可以更具体或使用更合适的词语。
    • Suggestion: "various demanding tasks are becoming automated" 或 "many labor-intensive jobs are being automated".
  • Error 3: "thus requiring less time for people to finish"
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "thus" 引导的句子结构可以更流畅。
    • Suggestion: "thus requiring less time for people to complete them" 或 "leading to a reduction in the time people need to spend on work."
  • Error 4: "with the rapid development of AI technology, people spend less time processing data in their work, dramatically improving work efficiency and saving a huge amount of time."
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "saving a huge amount of time" 有些重复，因为 "dramatically improving work efficiency" 已经暗示了时间的节省。
    • Suggestion: "with the rapid development of AI technology, people spend less time processing data in their work, dramatically improving work efficiency."
  • Error 5: "Still, a voice arises that our competitive economic system will force workers to be more diligent regardless of the time."
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "a voice arises" 不是一个很正式的表达，且 "regardless of the time" 在这里略显模糊。
    • Suggestion: "However, some argue that our competitive economic system will still pressure workers to be more diligent, regardless of potential time savings from technology."
  • Error 6: "Ironically, from the whole perspective, the working time is saved in total and the coompetitiveness will be represented in other aspects, such as the quality and the ability to solve the emergencies."
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "from the whole perspective" 可以更简洁地表达为 "overall" 或 "from a broader perspective"。 "coompetitiveness" 是一个拼写错误，应为 "competitiveness"。 "will be represented in other aspects" 可以更直接地表达。 "the emergencies" 应该是 "emergencies"。
    • Suggestion: "Ironically, overall, while the total working hours may decrease, competitiveness will likely manifest in other areas, such as the quality of work and the ability to handle urgent situations."

3. 语法结构 (Syntactic Structures and Grammatical Structures):

  • Error 1: 时态使用不一致，例如开头使用 "will spending"，后面使用 "spend"。
    • Why it's an error: 时态不一致会造成理解上的混乱。
    • Correct Expression: "people will spend less time working".
  • Error 2: 句子连接词使用不够准确，例如 "thus" 的使用可以更灵活。
  • Error 3: 注意名词单复数和冠词的使用，例如 "hard works" 应该改为 "demanding tasks" 或 "labor-intensive jobs"。

4. 文章结构 (Clarity and Understandability for Unfamiliar Readers):

  • Evaluation: 结构基本清晰，你提出了观点，给出了支持理由和例子，并考虑了反驳意见并进行了回应。
  • Suggestion:
    • 在提出反驳意见时，可以使用更清晰的转折词，例如 "However," 或 "On the other hand,"。
    • 在回应反驳意见时，可以更明确地说明你的理由为什么仍然成立。

最终得分：内容 3.5/5，表达 ⅗。综合得分：3 分。

修改

~~In my opinion, people will spending less time working and gaining more leisure time in the future.~~ In my opinion, people will likely spend less time working and have more leisure time in the future. ~~With the development of technology, different hard works are becoming automated, thus requiring less time for people to finish.~~ With the advancement of technology, various labor-intensive tasks are being automated, thus requiring less time for people to complete them. ~~For instance, with the rapid development of AI technology, people spend less time processing data in their work, dramatically improving work efficiency and saving a huge amount of time.~~ For instance, the rapid development of AI technology allows individuals to spend less time processing data in their work, dramatically improving work efficiency. ~~Still, a voice arises that our competitive economic system will force workers to be more diligent regardless of the time.~~ However, some argue that our competitive economic system will still pressure workers to be more diligent, regardless of potential time savings from technology. ~~Ironically, from the whole perspective, the working time is saved in total and the coompetitiveness will be represented in other aspects, such as the quality and the ability to solve the emergencies.~~ Ironically, from a broader perspective, while the total working hours may decrease, competitiveness will likely manifest in other areas, such as the quality of work and the ability to handle urgent situations.

Exercise TPO 35 ⅘

TPO 35

Write a post responding to the professor’s question.
In your response, you should:

  • express and support your opinion.
  • make a contribution to the discussion in your own words.
    An effective response will contain at least 100 words.

Professor Over the next few weeks, we're going to talk about recent trends in education. Specifically, we'll discuss how many universities have started letting students take classes from home instead of taking them in person on campus. I want to know what you think about this issue, so here's a quick question for the discussion board: "What do you think is the most significant impact of online classes? Why do you think it has this impact?"

Jack The main thing is that online classes make education more accessible. For one, they help reduce commuting time and costs and give students more flexibility in their schedules. Plus, online learning can be more accessible for students who have disabilities or live far away from campus. Traditionally, high costs have prevented many people from pursuing an education, but thanks to online classes cost is less of a problem.

Emily I think that online classes cause people to learn less than before. There's something to be said for the energy and engagement that comes from being in the same physical space as your classmates and instructor. Moreover, when we take classes in person it is easier to build relationships and collaborate. We learn just as much from personal connections as we do from our actual lectures and textbooks.

作答

In my opinion , online classes make it more personalized for people to get new knowledge. Not only can students can take online classes anytime and anywhere flexibly, but also they can take in the knowledge in a proper speed customized for them by palsing or listening to the same part over and over again. Moreover, with the rapid development of AI technology, some online platforms can offer personalized learning experiences that adapt to each student's strengths and weaknesses, which is difficult to achieve in a traditional classroom setting. In conclusion, online classes offer a more personalized approach to acquiring new knowledge through their flexibility, self-paced learning opportunities, and the increasing integration of AI-powered personalized learning experiences.

批改

1. 打分：

  • 内容 (Content): ⅘ - 你清晰地表达了你的观点，认为在线课程使人们能够更个性化地获取知识。你提供了三个支持理由：灵活性、自定学习节奏以及人工智能驱动的个性化学习体验。你的论证清晰且有条理。
  • 表达 (Language): 3.5/5 - 你的语言基本流畅，能够有效地传达你的观点。但仍存在一些语法和拼写错误，以及不够正式的表达。

2. 语言错误 (Language Errors):

  • Error 1: "In my opinion , online classes make it more personalized"
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "opinion" 后面多余的空格。
    • Suggestion: "In my opinion, online classes make learning more personalized."
  • Error 2: "Not only can students can take online classes"
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: 在 "Not only" 引导的句子中，助动词应该放在主语之前，这里重复使用了 "can"。
    • Suggestion: "Not only can students take online classes..."
  • Error 3: "anytime and anywhere flexibly"
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "flexibly" 修饰 "take"，位置不太自然。
    • Suggestion: "flexibly anytime and anywhere" 或 "at any time and from any location, offering flexibility."
  • Error 4: "but also they can take in the knowledge in a proper speed customized for them by palsing or listening"
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "take in the knowledge" 可以用更简洁的 "absorb knowledge" 或 "learn at"。 "palsing" 是一个拼写错误，应该是 "pausing"。
    • Suggestion: "but also they can learn at their own pace, customized for them by pausing or re-listening..."
  • Error 5: "meaningness" (在第二篇作文中出现，这里再次指出)
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: 不是一个常用的词汇，应使用 "significance" 或 "importance"。
    • Suggestion: "educational significance" 或 "educational importance".
  • Error 6: "In conclusion, online classes offer a more personalized approach to acquiring new knowledge through their flexibility, self-paced learning opportunities, and the increasing integration of AI-powered personalized learning experiences."
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: 句子稍长，可以更简洁。
    • Suggestion: "In conclusion, online classes provide a more personalized way to acquire new knowledge due to their flexibility, self-paced learning options, and the growing use of AI-powered personalized learning experiences."

3. 语法结构 (Syntactic Structures and Grammatical Structures):

  • Error 1: 注意并列结构中词语形式的一致性，例如 "flexibility, self-paced learning opportunities, and the increasing integration of AI-powered personalized learning experiences" 结构是清晰的。
  • Error 2: 避免句子过于冗长，注意使用逗号等标点符号使句子结构更清晰。

4. 文章结构 (Clarity and Understandability for Unfamiliar Readers):

  • Evaluation: 结构清晰，你首先提出了观点，然后列举了三个支持理由，最后进行了总结。
  • Suggestion:
    • 可以在每个理由段落的开头使用更清晰的主题句，概括该段落要讨论的重点。

最终得分：内容 ⅘，表达 3.5/5。综合得分：4 分。

修改

~~In my opinion , online classes make it more personalized for people to get new knowledge.~~ In my opinion, online classes enhance the personalization of learning for individuals seeking new knowledge. ~~Not only can students can take online classes anytime and anywhere flexibly, but also they can take in the knowledge in a proper speed customized for them by palsing or listening to the same part over and over again.~~ Not only can students take online classes flexibly at any time and from any location, but also they can learn at their own pace, customized for them by pausing or re-listening to specific sections repeatedly. Moreover, with the rapid development of AI technology, some online platforms can offer personalized learning experiences that adapt to each student's strengths and weaknesses, which is difficult to achieve in a traditional classroom setting. ~~In conclusion, online classes offer a more personalized approach to acquiring new knowledge through their flexibility, self-paced learning opportunities, and the increasing integration of AI-powered personalized learning experiences.~~ In conclusion, online classes offer a more personalized approach to knowledge acquisition through their flexibility, self-paced learning opportunities, and the growing integration of AI-powered personalized learning experiences.

好的，教授。我已经仔细阅读了你提供的四篇托福作文以及相应的题目和评分标准。接下来，我将逐一对你的每篇文章进行详细的批改和反馈，包括打分、语言错误分析、语法结构分析、文章结构评估以及修改建议。

TPO 74 - Public Transportation

你的回答：

In my opinion, there's no need for free public transportation, since it doesn't cost too much nowadays after all. For example, a high school student who takes the subway to go to school will only spend 4 yuan on public transportation, which is the same value as a bottle of water. Instead, adding one more tax may cause unfairness, due to the fact that people who don't need public transportation will pay an extra amount of money. For instance, teachers who live in school and don't need transportation still need to pay an extra amount of fee. In conclusion, though having free access to public transportation seems to be ideal, it's unnecessary in fact and unfair to some people.

1. 打分：

  • 内容 (Content): ⅗ - 你的观点明确，并且提供了一个基于价格的理由和另一个基于公平性的理由。然而，你的论证比较简单，缺乏更深入的解释和细节支撑。例如，你声称公共交通花费不多，但没有提供更广泛的数据或考虑不同城市和收入水平的情况。关于公平性的论点也比较直接，可以进一步探讨不同社会群体对公共交通的需求和税收的受益情况。
  • 表达 (Language): ⅗ - 你的语言基本清晰易懂，能够表达你的观点。但存在一些小的语法和词汇问题，且句式结构相对简单，缺乏多样性。

2. 语言错误 (Language Errors):

  • Error 1: "there's no need for free public transportation, since it doesn't cost too much nowadays after all."
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "after all" 在这里显得有些突兀，语气不够正式，并且并没有提供额外的信息来支持“花费不多”的观点。
    • Suggestion: 可以删除 "after all" 或者用更正式的短语来连接你的观点，例如 "because the current cost is relatively low."
  • Error 2: "For example, a high school student who takes the subway to go to school will only spend 4 yuan on public transportation, which is the same value as a bottle of water."
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: 使用具体的货币单位 "yuan" 对于一个国际性的讨论来说可能不够通用，并且用一瓶水的价值来衡量交通费用显得过于简化，没有考虑到长期累积的费用和不同地区的物价水平。
    • Suggestion: 可以使用更通用的表达，例如 "For example, the cost for a high school student to commute to school by subway might be comparable to the price of a common everyday item." 或者避免使用具体的货币单位。
  • Error 3: "due to the fact that people who don't need public transportation will pay an extra amount of money."
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "due to the fact that" 过于冗余，可以用更简洁的表达。
    • Suggestion: 可以改为 "because people who do not use public transportation would have to pay extra."
  • Error 4: "For instance, teachers who live in school and don't need transportation still need to pay an extra amount of fee."
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "need to pay an extra amount of fee" 中的 "amount of fee" 有些重复，可以用更简洁的表达。
    • Suggestion: 可以改为 "For instance, teachers who live on campus and do not require transportation would still have to pay this additional tax."
  • Error 5: "though having free access to public transportation seems to be ideal, it's unnecessary in fact and unfair to some people."
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "in fact" 在这里显得有些生硬，并且句子结构可以更流畅。
    • Suggestion: 可以改为 "While free public transportation might seem ideal, it is, in my opinion, unnecessary and potentially unfair to certain groups."

3. 语法结构 (Syntactic Structures and Grammatical Structures):

  • Error 1: 句子结构过于简单，多为简单句，缺乏句式变化，例如 "In my opinion, there's no need for free public transportation..." 和 "Instead, adding one more tax may cause unfairness..."
    • Why it's an error: 缺乏复杂的句式结构会使文章显得单调，影响表达的流畅性和准确性。
    • Correct Expression: 可以尝试使用从句、短语等来构建更复杂的句子，例如 "I believe that free public transportation is unnecessary because the current cost is relatively low..." 和 "Furthermore, the implementation of an additional tax to fund free public transportation could be considered unfair..."
  • Error 2: "people who don't need public transportation will pay an extra amount of money." - 动词时态一致性，如果讨论的是未来可能发生的情况，可以使用 "would pay"。
    • Why it's an error: 时态不一致会造成理解上的困惑。
    • Correct Expression: "people who do not need public transportation would pay an extra amount of money."
  • Error 3: "museum are a significant cultural and historical symbol" (在第二篇作文中出现，但这里一并指出) - 主谓不一致。
    • Why it's an error: 名词 "museum" 是单数，动词 "are" 是复数。
    • Correct Expression: "museum is a significant cultural and historical symbol."

4. 文章结构 (Clarity and Understandability for Unfamiliar Readers):

  • Evaluation: 对于不熟悉讨论背景的读者来说，你的文章结构基本清晰，你首先提出了你的观点，然后提供了两个理由来支持你的观点，最后进行了总结。
  • Suggestion:
    • 可以在开头更明确地回应教授的问题，例如 "In response to the professor's question about whether public transportation should be free to all, I believe it should not be."
    • 在每个理由段落的开头使用更清晰的主题句，概括该段落要讨论的重点。
    • 在提供例子之后，可以稍微展开解释一下这个例子如何支持你的观点，避免例子显得孤立。

最终得分：内容 ⅗，表达 ⅗。综合得分：3 分。

TPO 71 - Museums in a City

你的回答：

I totally agree with Andrew's point about the cultural meaningness of the museum and I would like to add something. As far as I'm concerned, museum are a significant cultural and historical symbol of a city by providing a splendid glimpse of the city. Therefore, not only does it improve the attractiveness of the city, but also it foster the sense of cultural pride for every residents in city. For example, the well-preserved treasures in Luoyang's museums attract global visitors, showcasing the region's rich history.1 These institutions also play an educational role, providing students with hands-on learning experiences.2 In conclusion, museum are an important element of a city due to its cultural impact and education meaningness.

1. 打分：

  • 内容 (Content): 3.5/5 - 你表达了对 Andrew 观点的赞同，并在此基础上提出了你自己的补充观点，即博物馆作为城市重要的文化和历史象征，能够提升城市吸引力并增强居民的文化自豪感。你提供了一个例子来支持你的观点，并提到了博物馆的教育意义。内容上基本切题，并有所拓展。
  • 表达 (Language): ⅗ - 你的语言基本流畅，能够表达你的观点，但也存在一些语法和词汇上的小错误，以及不够正式的表达。

2. 语言错误 (Language Errors):

  • Error 1: "cultural meaningness"
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "meaningness" 不是一个常用的词汇，表达“意义”可以使用 "significance" 或 "importance"。
    • Suggestion: "cultural significance" 或 "cultural importance".
  • Error 2: "museum are a significant cultural and historical symbol"
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: 主语 "museum" 是单数，动词 "are" 是复数，导致主谓不一致。
    • Suggestion: "museum is a significant cultural and historical symbol".
  • Error 3: "by providing a splendid glimpse of the city"
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: 表达略显不自然，可以使用更简洁的表达。
    • Suggestion: "by offering a splendid glimpse into the city's past."
  • Error 4: "it foster the sense of cultural pride for every residents in city"
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: 主语 "it" 是单数，动词 "foster" 应该使用第三人称单数形式 "fosters"。 "every residents" 应该是 "every resident" 或者 "all residents"。 "in city" 应该是 "in the city"。
    • Suggestion: "it fosters a sense of cultural pride among all residents in the city."
  • Error 5: "museum are an important element of a city due to its cultural impact and education meaningness."
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: 主语 "museum" 是单数，动词 "are" 是复数。 "its" 指代单数名词 "museum"，所以 "education meaningness" 应该改为 "educational significance" 或 "educational importance"。
    • Suggestion: "museum is an important element of a city due to its cultural impact and educational significance."

3. 语法结构 (Syntactic Structures and Grammatical Structures):

  • Error 1: 句子结构可以更加多样化。例如，第二句 "As far as I'm concerned, museum are a significant cultural and historical symbol of a city by providing a splendid glimpse of the city." 可以尝试拆分成更清晰的两个句子或者使用更复杂的句式。
    • Why it's an error: 句子稍显冗长，影响阅读流畅性。
    • Correct Expression: "In my opinion, museums serve as significant cultural and historical symbols of a city. They offer residents and visitors a splendid glimpse into the city's past and heritage."
  • Error 2: 连词使用不够灵活，例如 "Therefore" 连接的句子可以尝试使用更具体的逻辑连接词或者调整句子结构。

4. 文章结构 (Clarity and Understandability for Unfamiliar Readers):

  • Evaluation: 结构基本清晰，你首先表达了赞同，然后提出了补充观点，给出了例子，最后进行了总结。
  • Suggestion:
    • 在提出补充观点时，可以更明确地说明你是在 Andrew 的基础上进行拓展，例如 "Building upon Andrew's point about the cultural significance of museums, I would like to add that..."
    • 在总结部分，可以更清晰地呼应你提出的两个主要方面：提升城市吸引力和增强居民文化自豪感，以及博物馆的教育意义。

最终得分：内容 3.5/5，表达 ⅗。综合得分：3 分。

TPO 67 - Government Support for Unemployed People

你的回答：

Both Andrew and Kelly have made good points, and I believe offering free job training is better, since this method protects the self-esteem of the people. By helping them developing new, in-demand skills, these people will still gain the sense of achievement and confidence from their process of earning the payoff and maintain a proper status in society. In contrast, if they're offered money directly, they will define themselves as a failure in society, losing hope and confidence and only expecting money from government from day to night. In conclusion, while providing money directly is more straight and can solve the problem immediately, offering free job training and teaching them skills are better for their well-being and beneficial for the long term.

1. 打分：

  • 内容 (Content): ⅘ - 你清晰地表达了你的观点，支持提供免费职业培训，并给出了明确的理由，即这种方式有助于保护失业人员的自尊心和自信心，并着眼于长期的福祉。你对比了直接提供资金的不足之处，论证较为充分。
  • 表达 (Language): 3.5/5 - 你的语言表达基本清晰，能够有效地传达你的观点。语法和词汇方面有一些小错误，但整体而言表达比较流畅。

2. 语言错误 (Language Errors):

  • Error 1: "By helping them developing new, in-demand skills"
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: 在介词 "by" 之后，动词应该使用动名词形式。
    • Suggestion: "By helping them develop new, in-demand skills" 或 "By helping them in developing new, in-demand skills."
  • Error 2: "these people will still gain the sense of achievement and confidence from their process of earning the payoff"
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "earning the payoff" 在这里略显口语化，且表达可能不够准确。职业培训本身不直接带来经济上的 "payoff"，而是提升就业能力。
    • Suggestion: "these people will still gain a sense of achievement and confidence through the process of acquiring new skills and improving their employability."
  • Error 3: "maintain a proper status in society"
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "proper status" 略显模糊，可以使用更具体的表达。
    • Suggestion: "maintain their social standing" 或 "maintain their dignity and social integration."
  • Error 4: "if they're offered money directly, they will define themselves as a failure in society"
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "they're" 是 "they are" 的缩写，在正式学术语境中应尽量避免使用缩写。
    • Suggestion: "if they are offered money directly, they may perceive themselves as failures in society."
  • Error 5: "losing hope and confidence and only expecting money from government from day to night"
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "from day to night" 略显口语化，且表达可能有些夸张。
    • Suggestion: "potentially leading to a loss of hope and confidence, and fostering dependency on government support."
  • Error 6: "while providing money directly is more straight and can solve the problem immediately"
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "straight" 在这里不是一个合适的词语来形容提供资金的方式，可以使用 "direct" 或 "immediate"。
    • Suggestion: "while providing direct financial assistance may offer an immediate solution."

3. 语法结构 (Syntactic Structures and Grammatical Structures):

  • Error 1: 句子结构可以更加精炼和正式。例如，第二句 "By helping them developing new, in-demand skills, these people will still gain the sense of achievement and confidence from their process of earning the payoff and maintain a proper status in society." 可以尝试拆分成更清晰的句子。
    • Why it's an error: 句子较长，信息量大，略显冗余。
    • Correct Expression: "Providing free job training can help these individuals develop new, in-demand skills. This process can foster a sense of achievement and confidence, enabling them to maintain their social standing."
  • Error 2: 注意连词的使用，例如 "since" 和 "in contrast" 连接的句子在逻辑上是否足够清晰。

4. 文章结构 (Clarity and Understandability for Unfamiliar Readers):

  • Evaluation: 结构清晰，你首先表达了你的观点，然后阐述了支持你观点的理由，并对比了另一种方案的不足，最后进行了总结。
  • Suggestion:
    • 可以在开头更明确地回应教授的问题，例如 "Regarding the government's role in supporting people whose jobs are no longer needed, I believe that offering free job training is a more effective approach than providing direct financial assistance."
    • 在对比两种方案的段落中，可以更清晰地使用对比性的连接词，例如 "On the other hand," 或 "Conversely,"。

最终得分：内容 ⅘，表达 3.5/5。综合得分：4 分。

TPO 55 - Future of Work and Leisure Time

你的回答：

In my opinion, people will spending less time working and gaining more leisure time in the future. With the development of technology, different hard works are becoming automated, thus requiring less time for people to finish.3 For instance, with the rapid development of AI technology, people spend less time processing data in their work, dramatically improving work efficiency and saving a huge amount of time. Still, a voice arises that our competitive economic system will force workers to be more diligent regardless of the time. Ironically, from the whole perspective, the working time is saved in total and the coompetitiveness will be represented in other aspects, such as the quality and the ability to solve the emergencies.

1. 打分：

  • 内容 (Content): 3.5/5 - 你表达了你的观点，认为未来人们将拥有更多休闲时间，并给出了技术进步导致工作自动化的理由。你用人工智能的例子进行了说明，并且考虑到了竞争性经济体系可能带来的反驳意见，并尝试进行了回应。
  • 表达 (Language): ⅗ - 你的语言基本能够表达你的意思，但存在一些明显的语法错误和不够自然的表达。

2. 语言错误 (Language Errors):

  • Error 1: "people will spending less time working"

    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "will" 后面应该跟动词原形。
    • Suggestion: "people will spend less time

  • Error 2: "different hard works are becoming automated"

    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "hard works" 不是一个常见的表达，可以更具体或使用更合适的词语。
    • Suggestion: "various demanding tasks are becoming automated" 或 "many labor-intensive jobs are being automated".
  • Error 3: "thus requiring less time for people to finish"
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "thus" 引导的句子结构可以更流畅。
    • Suggestion: "thus requiring less time for people to complete them" 或 "leading to a reduction in the time people need to spend on work."
  • Error 4: "with the rapid development of AI technology, people spend less time processing data in their work, dramatically improving work efficiency and saving a huge amount of time."
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "saving a huge amount of time" 有些重复，因为 "dramatically improving work efficiency" 已经暗示了时间的节省。
    • Suggestion: "with the rapid development of AI technology, people spend less time processing data in their work, dramatically improving work efficiency."
  • Error 5: "Still, a voice arises that our competitive economic system will force workers to be more diligent regardless of the time."
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "a voice arises" 不是一个很正式的表达，且 "regardless of the time" 在这里略显模糊。
    • Suggestion: "However, some argue that our competitive economic system will still pressure workers to be more diligent, regardless of potential time savings from technology."
  • Error 6: "Ironically, from the whole perspective, the working time is saved in total and the coompetitiveness will be represented in other aspects, such as the quality and the ability to solve the emergencies."
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "from the whole perspective" 可以更简洁地表达为 "overall" 或 "from a broader perspective"。 "coompetitiveness" 是一个拼写错误，应为 "competitiveness"。 "will be represented in other aspects" 可以更直接地表达。 "the emergencies" 应该是 "emergencies"。
    • Suggestion: "Ironically, overall, while the total working hours may decrease, competitiveness will likely manifest in other areas, such as the quality of work and the ability to handle urgent situations."

3. 语法结构 (Syntactic Structures and Grammatical Structures):

  • Error 1: 时态使用不一致，例如开头使用 "will spending"，后面使用 "spend"。
    • Why it's an error: 时态不一致会造成理解上的混乱。
    • Correct Expression: "people will spend less time working".
  • Error 2: 句子连接词使用不够准确，例如 "thus" 的使用可以更灵活。
  • Error 3: 注意名词单复数和冠词的使用，例如 "hard works" 应该改为 "demanding tasks" 或 "labor-intensive jobs"。

4. 文章结构 (Clarity and Understandability for Unfamiliar Readers):

  • Evaluation: 结构基本清晰，你提出了观点，给出了支持理由和例子，并考虑了反驳意见并进行了回应。
  • Suggestion:
    • 在提出反驳意见时，可以使用更清晰的转折词，例如 "However," 或 "On the other hand,"。
    • 在回应反驳意见时，可以更明确地说明你的理由为什么仍然成立。

最终得分：内容 3.5/5，表达 ⅗。综合得分：3 分。

TPO 35 - Impact of Online Classes

你的回答：

In my opinion , online classes make it more personalized for people to get new knowledge. Not only can students can take online classes anytime and anywhere flexibly, but also they can take in the knowledge in a proper speed customized for them by palsing or listening to the same part over and over again. Moreover, with the rapid development of AI technology, some online platforms can offer personalized learning experiences that adapt to each student's strengths and weaknesses, which is difficult to achieve in a traditional classroom setting. In conclusion, online classes offer a more personalized approach to acquiring new knowledge through their flexibility, self-paced learning opportunities, and the increasing integration of AI-powered personalized learning experiences.

1. 打分：

  • 内容 (Content): ⅘ - 你清晰地表达了你的观点，认为在线课程使人们能够更个性化地获取知识。你提供了三个支持理由：灵活性、自定学习节奏以及人工智能驱动的个性化学习体验。你的论证清晰且有条理。
  • 表达 (Language): 3.5/5 - 你的语言基本流畅，能够有效地传达你的观点。但仍存在一些语法和拼写错误，以及不够正式的表达。

2. 语言错误 (Language Errors):

  • Error 1: "In my opinion , online classes make it more personalized"
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "opinion" 后面多余的空格。
    • Suggestion: "In my opinion, online classes make learning more personalized."
  • Error 2: "Not only can students can take online classes"
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: 在 "Not only" 引导的句子中，助动词应该放在主语之前，这里重复使用了 "can"。
    • Suggestion: "Not only can students take online classes..."
  • Error 3: "anytime and anywhere flexibly"
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "flexibly" 修饰 "take"，位置不太自然。
    • Suggestion: "flexibly anytime and anywhere" 或 "at any time and from any location, offering flexibility."
  • Error 4: "but also they can take in the knowledge in a proper speed customized for them by palsing or listening"
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: "take in the knowledge" 可以用更简洁的 "absorb knowledge" 或 "learn at"。 "palsing" 是一个拼写错误，应该是 "pausing"。
    • Suggestion: "but also they can learn at their own pace, customized for them by pausing or re-listening..."
  • Error 5: "meaningness" (在第二篇作文中出现，这里再次指出)
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: 不是一个常用的词汇，应使用 "significance" 或 "importance"。
    • Suggestion: "educational significance" 或 "educational importance".
  • Error 6: "In conclusion, online classes offer a more personalized approach to acquiring new knowledge through their flexibility, self-paced learning opportunities, and the increasing integration of AI-powered personalized learning experiences."
    • Why it's inaccurate/imprecise: 句子稍长，可以更简洁。
    • Suggestion: "In conclusion, online classes provide a more personalized way to acquire new knowledge due to their flexibility, self-paced learning options, and the growing use of AI-powered personalized learning experiences."

3. 语法结构 (Syntactic Structures and Grammatical Structures):

  • Error 1: 注意并列结构中词语形式的一致性，例如 "flexibility, self-paced learning opportunities, and the increasing integration of AI-powered personalized learning experiences" 结构是清晰的。
  • Error 2: 避免句子过于冗长，注意使用逗号等标点符号使句子结构更清晰。

4. 文章结构 (Clarity and Understandability for Unfamiliar Readers):

  • Evaluation: 结构清晰，你首先提出了观点，然后列举了三个支持理由，最后进行了总结。
  • Suggestion:
    • 可以在每个理由段落的开头使用更清晰的主题句，概括该段落要讨论的重点。

最终得分：内容 ⅘，表达 3.5/5。综合得分：4 分。

综合反馈和修改建议总结：

总的来说，你的文章都能够回应题目，表达自己的观点并提供一定的论证。你在内容方面有一定的潜力，能够提出相关的理由和例子。然而，你的语言表达方面还有提升的空间，主要集中在以下几个方面：

  1. 词汇选择 (Word Choice):
    • 避免使用不准确、不正式或口语化的词语，例如 "meaningness", "after all", "straight", "from day to night", "take in the knowledge", "palsing"。
    • 使用更正式、更学术的词汇来准确表达你的意思，例如 "significance", "importance", "because", "direct", "continuously", "absorb knowledge", "pausing"。
  2. 语法错误 (Grammatical Errors):
    • 注意主谓一致，例如 "museum is" 而不是 "museum are"。
    • 注意动词时态的正确使用和一致性。
    • 在介词后使用动名词形式。
    • 正确使用助动词，例如在 "Not only" 引导的句子中。
    • 避免在正式写作中使用缩写，例如 "they're" 应改为 "they are"。
  3. 句法结构 (Syntactic Structures):
    • 尝试使用更多样化的句子结构，包括复合句和复杂句，以提高文章的流畅性和表达的准确性。
    • 避免句子过于冗长，可以使用更简洁明了的表达。
    • 注意使用正确的连接词和过渡词，使文章逻辑更清晰。
  4. 文章结构 (Essay Structure):
    • 在开头更明确地回应题目中的问题。
    • 在每个理由段落的开头使用清晰的主题句。
    • 在提供例子后，稍微展开解释例子如何支持你的观点。
    • 在总结部分更清晰地重申你的主要观点。

修改后的文章（以第一篇 TPO 74 为例）：

~~In my opinion, there's no need for free public transportation, since it doesn't cost too much nowadays after all.~~ In my opinion, free public transportation is unnecessary because the current cost is relatively low. ~~For example, a high school student who takes the subway to go to school will only spend 4 yuan on public transportation, which is the same value as a bottle of water.~~ For example, the cost for a high school student to commute to school by subway might be comparable to the price of a common everyday item. ~~Instead, adding one more tax may cause unfairness, due to the fact that people who don't need public transportation will pay an extra amount of money.~~ Furthermore, the implementation of an additional tax to fund free public transportation could be considered unfair because people who do not use public transportation would have to pay extra. ~~For instance, teachers who live in school and don't need transportation still need to pay an extra amount of fee.~~ For instance, teachers who live on campus and do not require transportation would still have to pay this additional tax. ~~In conclusion, though having free access to public transportation seems to be ideal, it's unnecessary in fact and unfair to some people.~~ In conclusion, while free public transportation might seem ideal, it is, in my opinion, unnecessary and potentially unfair to certain groups.

我会根据你的要求，对你提供的每一篇文章都进行类似的修改。请告诉我你希望我优先修改哪一篇。

好的，教授。我将继续修改你提供的所有文章，按照之前的格式进行标注。

修改后的文章二：TPO 71 - Museums in a City**

~~I totally agree with Andrew's point about the cultural meaningness of the museum and I would like to add something.~~ I agree with Andrew's point regarding the cultural significance of museums and would like to add further insights. ~~As far as I'm concerned, museum are a significant cultural and historical symbol of a city by providing a splendid glimpse of the city.~~ In my opinion, a museum is a significant cultural and historical symbol of a city, offering a splendid glimpse into its past and heritage. ~~Therefore, not only does it improve the attractiveness of the city, but also it foster the sense of cultural pride for every residents in city.~~ Consequently, it not only enhances the attractiveness of the city but also fosters a sense of cultural pride among all residents in the city. For example, the well-preserved treasures in Luoyang's museums attract global visitors, showcasing the region's rich history. These institutions also play an educational role, providing students with hands-on learning experiences. ~~In conclusion, museum are an important element of a city due to its cultural impact and education meaningness.~~ In conclusion, a museum is an important element of a city due to its cultural impact and educational significance.

修改后的文章三：TPO 67 - Government Support for Unemployed People**

Both Andrew and Kelly have made valid points, and I believe offering free job training is a more effective solution, ~~since this method protects the self-esteem of the people.~~ as it safeguards the self-esteem of the individuals affected. ~~By helping them developing new, in-demand skills, these people will still gain the sense of achievement and confidence from their process of earning the payoff and maintain a proper status in society.~~ By assisting them in developing new, in-demand skills, these individuals can gain a sense of achievement and confidence through the process of acquiring these skills, thereby maintaining their social standing. ~~In contrast, if they're offered money directly, they will define themselves as a failure in society, losing hope and confidence and only expecting money from government from day to night.~~ Conversely, if they are offered direct financial assistance, they may perceive themselves as failures, potentially leading to a loss of hope and confidence, and fostering dependency on government support. ~~In conclusion, while providing money directly is more straight and can solve the problem immediately, offering free job training and teaching them skills are better for their well-being and beneficial for the long term.~~ In conclusion, while providing direct financial assistance may offer an immediate solution, offering free job training and imparting valuable skills are more beneficial for their long-term well-being and societal integration.

修改后的文章四：TPO 55 - Future of Work and Leisure Time**

~~In my opinion, people will spending less time working and gaining more leisure time in the future.~~ In my opinion, people will likely spend less time working and have more leisure time in the future. ~~With the development of technology, different hard works are becoming automated, thus requiring less time for people to finish.~~ With the advancement of technology, various labor-intensive tasks are being automated, thus requiring less time for people to complete them. ~~For instance, with the rapid development of AI technology, people spend less time processing data in their work, dramatically improving work efficiency and saving a huge amount of time.~~ For instance, the rapid development of AI technology allows individuals to spend less time processing data in their work, dramatically improving work efficiency. ~~Still, a voice arises that our competitive economic system will force workers to be more diligent regardless of the time.~~ However, some argue that our competitive economic system will still pressure workers to be more diligent, regardless of potential time savings from technology. ~~Ironically, from the whole perspective, the working time is saved in total and the coompetitiveness will be represented in other aspects, such as the quality and the ability to solve the emergencies.~~ Ironically, from a broader perspective, while the total working hours may decrease, competitiveness will likely manifest in other areas, such as the quality of work and the ability to handle urgent situations.

修改后的文章五：TPO 35 - Impact of Online Classes**

~~In my opinion , online classes make it more personalized for people to get new knowledge.~~ In my opinion, online classes enhance the personalization of learning for individuals seeking new knowledge. ~~Not only can students can take online classes anytime and anywhere flexibly, but also they can take in the knowledge in a proper speed customized for them by palsing or listening to the same part over and over again.~~ Not only can students take online classes flexibly at any time and from any location, but also they can learn at their own pace, customized for them by pausing or re-listening to specific sections repeatedly. Moreover, with the rapid development of AI technology, some online platforms can offer personalized learning experiences that adapt to each student's strengths and weaknesses, which is difficult to achieve in a traditional classroom setting. ~~In conclusion, online classes offer a more personalized approach to acquiring new knowledge through their flexibility, self-paced learning opportunities, and the increasing integration of AI-powered personalized learning experiences.~~ In conclusion, online classes offer a more personalized approach to knowledge acquisition through their flexibility, self-paced learning opportunities, and the growing integration of AI-powered personalized learning experiences.

Exercise 13

The university has a funding allocation and needs to determine whether to prioritize the construction of a university library or the support of students’ sports activities. Andrew presents an argument in favor of promoting students’ sports activities ,which can promote students’ physical health. However, I am inclined to prioritize the construction of a new library. In my view, a new library can enhance teaching and scholarly communication by providing a central hub for intellectual exchange and collaboration. A well-equipped library not only provides access to printed books but also offers high-speed Internet connectivity. For example, both faculty and students in our Architecture Department requires establishing a new library that enhances networks cross departments, which . Therefore, I believe that constructing a new library will improve scholarly communication and our research capabilities, laying a solid foundation.

Exercise 14

In my opinion, universities are decisive in expanding one’s knowledge.
Explanation: (但是不是很detail)
There is no denying that one could gain knowledge from both the textbooks and teachers, which will inevitably lead to his/her personal accomplishment.

Take Isaac Newton for an example, who is widely accepted as one of the most influential physicists and mathematicians worldwide. (介绍) Through his tertiary education in Physics at Cambridge, Newton read a large number of books written by famous scientists, including Copernicus and Galileo, and frequently conversed with his teacher, Barrow, for a more comprehensive understanding of classical mechanics. As a result, he succeeded in formulating the law of gravitation that has dominated the physics world for centuries.（personal accomplishment）

具象的，最好有细节（Detail）

并列的例子：
有逻辑的：progress - sacrifice

Exercise 15

I think every progress has its cost as there is no free lunch in the world. For instance, a student’s progress on mathematics is probably gained by paying less attention to other subjects, and a career-oriented young man could have sacrificed most of his leisure time or even health to compete for promotion and pay rise. For some countries or regions, they might have long been using their fresh air and clean water to exchange for a speedy economic development. In this case, the long lasting pollution and its chain harm to both nature and society have become the expensive and detrimental costs tightly associated with the economic progress that has been achieved.

Exercise 16

I think participating in community activities is a practical and effective approach for teenagers to enhance their social skills. For instance, participance in volunteering work can not only provide them with chances to interact with diverse groups of people, but also . Additionally, joining in clean-up activities in community will rich their experience in cooperating with others. These experiences help teenagers to shape their characteristics and responsibililty as.

如果事情是较为笼漉的，那么最好是具体的人：a friend of mine
如果人是笼统的 - teenager, 那么事情最好是具体的：host an English conversation group

Exercise 17

In my opinion, the intensifying pressure to compete among children to go to a better school increases juvenile delinquency. In such a fiercely competitive society, children are under enormous pressure from many aspects, among which the competition for better schools is one of the most intense. Children who fail in the entrance examination are deprived of the opportunities to receive a better and higher education. Accordingly, without an impressive educational background, it is difficult for them to find a proper job. As a result, they become full of resentment at a society, doing harm to strangers and disrupting social order, both of which vitally increase juvenile delinquency

Exercise 18

Teenagers tend to overuse their cell phones, which creates many problems. There're so many information and resources of mixed quality on the Internet, some of which will lead to addiction for teenagers today.

Exercise 19

Comparison and Contrast

I agree that the Internet has brought great convenience for individuals to get access to large amounts of information. It becomes extremely convenient for travelers, for example, to search information about local cuisine by logging on the Internet when they first visit a city. Local residents can also be greatly benefited from the Internet by knowing the closest community center and hospitals. By contrast, all the convenience were impossible before the Internet first came into our daily life. Travelers had to carry with them a load of travel information and local residents had to ask other people for the information. Without the Internet, it will be much troublesome for people to obtain the information they need.

Exercise 20

I agree that the Internet has brought great convenience for individuals to get access to large amounts of information. It becomes extremely convenient for travelers, for example, to search information about local cuisine by logging on the Internet when they first visit a city. Local residents can also be greatly benefited from the Internet by knowing the closest community center and hospitals. By contrast, all the convenience were impossible before the Internet first came into our daily life. Travelers had to carry with them a load of travel and information local residents had to ask other people for the information. Without the Internet, it will be much troublesome for people to obtain the information they need.

Exercise 21

Argumentation

数字式、引用式、具体的事情/事物式的

In my opinion cities include a vast number of academic and cultural facilities. A child who visits such places on a regular basis will undoubtedly become very interested in some of them. In addition, they will be able to make well-informed decisions about their future. My own experience is a compelling example of this. When I was young I lived in a major urban area, so my parents could easily take me to a cultural event almost every weekend. We attended book readings at the local library, art openings at many of the galleries throughout the city, and literary festivals during the summer. As a result of attending these outings I developed a strong interest in artistic expression, and decided to major in music at university. Now I enjoy a successful career as a recording artist. For this reason, I strongly believe that it is worthwhile to grow up in a large city.

Exercise 22

  1. 阐述背景
  2. 先阐述自己的观点，用例证法
  3. 提到同学的观点，赞成/反对

例如：
The topic of globalization has generated much discussion in recent years. My personal belief is that when nations interact together it leads to less suffering. For example, people who suffer from natural catastrophes can import goods and services to help mitigate (reduce/alleviate) their losses and recover quickly. Citizens of nations who may be going through war or famine can flee to neighbouring countries for shelter. I understand Alex’s concern over cultural homogenization, but I believe she misses another critical point. Much of the food found in grocery stores around the world is imported. Our very diet is due to the international trade partnerships and alliances forged over the last half of the 20th century. International trade and travel are not possible in a world without globalization, which is why I believe it is crucial to maintain our current global policies for a safer world with a higher standard of living.

也可以I totally agree with xxx point about xxx and I would like to add

Exercise 23

I am in favor of Rachel’s opinion, and I have something to add. For students, facilities like libraries can offer students extra knowledge, such as the further proof of a hard theorem in mathematics, which will ignite their interest in certain area. Furthermore, the optimization of the environment of facilities like libraries will create a more positive atmosphere for students and professors and motivate them to dive
themselves into learning. From a broader perspective, a library with large capacity and the most advanced equipment can definitely raise the level of school. Therefore, funding for environment of libraries can promote the reputation of the university, thus appealing to more talented professors and benefiting the school as a whole. 113

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